Monthly Archives: October 2010

The First Guy

I wasn’t sure if anyone would care about my actual stories of how I’ve come to learn the lessons I have so far shared with you. But I thought about it tonight and figured I would give it a shot.

I’ll start with the first guy that ever screwed with me. Let’s call him Wes. Wes was not the kind of guy you would find attractive right away and even after you got to know his personality you probably still would not have found him very attractive. Why did I you ask? I have no idea. I was young and naive and I probably should have just went with my original reaction and just moved on. Somehow he worked his “magic” (if you can even call it that) and he had me wrapped around his tiny fingers. Well one day I was over at Wes’ house just hanging out with some mutual friends and out walks Wes from his bedroom with another girl. He had no idea I was there but played it off as if it was totally normal to walk out of your bedroom with a one night stand while the girl you are seeing is sitting in your living room. But it didn’t end there… Oh no stupid little me thought that I could be ok with that. Well stupid me didn’t realize the implications of feeling like that and drinking. Lets just say that was the first time the angry drunk me came out of the closet and Wes labeled me as “crazy”.

So it ended then, after “the crazy girl” showed her true self. And what’s worse is that it wasn’t even on my terms, it was on his.

Most guys are jerks… But that wasn’t the moment I realized that.

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Trust

Trust. One of the most important aspects of a relationship.

 So how do we know when to trust someone and when not to? Most of us have to learn from our mistakes by dating someone who betrays our trust. But is there any way of avoiding that? Not really. Most of the time we need to experience distrust before we learn how to trust. My one advice when getting into a relationship: trust them from the beginning; and unless they did something to betray your trust, continue to trust them. If you go into the relationship not trusting the person, then you are setting you and your relationship up for failure.

But are secrets something you should be worried about? Depends. I think everyone should have their secrets. It’s not that you shouldn’t trust your significant other with them, but until you know you will be with that person for a long time, keep the secrets you don’t wish to share. I also believe that every girl should have at least one secret stashed away for later 😉

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Time Well Spent

I’ve always wondered why you feel the need to spend all your time with someone you have fallen in love with. I never understood that urge, and even though I have that urge, I still don’t get it.

You would think that four days apart after spending every waking moment with each other would be a nice break, but I don’t necessarily feel that way. It feels more like a punishment.

Girls are an interesting species. Although some (very few) guys also enjoy spending every waking moment with the girl they have fallen in love with, it seems it is usually be the girls who are either complaining about not getting enough time with their man or coming off as “needy” because they want to spend all their time with their man.

So why do we feel this way? Will it change over time or will it always stay this way when you really find the right person? So many unanswered questions that only time will tell.

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Stop Torturing Yourself!!

I have had an extremely stressful year, and my doctor can back me up on this one, because at my age I shouldn’t be suffering from anything high. But the problem is that I need to figure out if I am the cause of this stress. Am I doing this to myself?

Well, the answer is most likely YES!

We do a lot of harm to ourselves, and put ourselves through so much stress, and for what? To live a shorter, unhappy life? Why put yourself through the things you do? Why torture yourself?

Mainly we do this with relationships, or ended relationships. I understand how hard it can be to move on, and I understand the anger and frustration when other people are telling you to just move on, or forget about them. But the truth is these people are right! If you keep torturing yourself, talking to him/her, writing to him/her or stalking his/her facebook, you’re only hurting yourself.

But, it doesn’t just apply to love relationships, it can also apply to any relationship. If you are unhappy with a relationship, whether it’s with your boyfriend or girlfriend, mother or father, friend or roommate, it is always best to not let these issues get the best of you. And if you can, try to fix the relationship or move on from the relationship that is holding you back!

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The Long Weekend

Everyone knows the first long weekend home during the school year is the official “breakup weekend”. Why? Well, because it takes the first two months away from your high school/summer boyfriend to realize that being single away at school is so much better than a long distance relationship.

So if you get your heart-broken this weekend, or even if you are the one breaking hearts, take this time to do something fun. Maybe even bake yourself a cake 😉 

I’ll be back after a nice long weekend with some great stories for all of you 🙂

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