Monthly Archives: November 2010

“Truthful Love” The Dating Site Edition

We all know that when you sign up for a dating website you never disclose the REAL you. You “forget” to mention your minor twitches, or that you still live with your parents, or maybe even the fact that you partake in medieval reenactments for your own pleasure. So today I have created my own dating site called “Truthful Love”. Everything you write down about yourself, the computer will generate what you really mean and pop that out.

So here we go:

What are you looking for: A laid back guy/girl

What are you REALLY looking for: A guy/girl who wants to get laid

Do you drink?: Socially

Come on, do you drink?: I don’t have a lot of friends, so by socially I mean at family parties.

Smarts: Bachelor Degree

Really?: Dropped out /Never went to university

Do you have a car: Yes

Do your parents lend you their car: Yes

Relationship History: Over 1 year, it ended well

Relationship’s True History: I was dumped for someone better (which is why I’m on a dating site)

Interests: Sports, reading, writing, outdoor activities

Things you like to tell people you are interested in because you really have no real interests: Sports, reading, writing, outdoor activities

About me:

I love the outdoors and being adventurous. Keeping fit is part of my daily routine. I have an athletic build. I am very cultured and love sharing that with others. I can play a few instruments, but don’t ask me to because I’m a little shy. I started my own company a few years ago with a couple of friends and could not be happier going to work every day. I’m pretty down to earth and easy-going. I am very passionate about discovering new things. I am very social able and would love to hear from you sometime.

I’m extremely lazy, and if you asked me to go for a run or walk I would probably complain the entire time, I’m also terrified of heights and rushing water and anything fast or too exciting. I take the subway to work, which means I have to walk across the street for a whole 2 min. If you count sumo wrestling as a sport, I have an athletic build. I’ve eaten at Japanese, Ethiopian, Mexican, Italian, French, American and Greek restaurants. I used to play the tambourine in elementary school. I’m currently unemployed. I will throw a temper tantrum at the slightest thing. I love when I find money in the couch. I hate meeting new people and going out in public. I’ll probably never return any messages you send me, but thought this site would build up my self-esteem.

So there you have it, the truth!

I’m not against online dating and not everyone lies on their profile. Hey, I even signed up for one a few years ago, never really got past survey stage. But if you’re going to put up a profile online and expect to meet someone who is compatible with you, shouldn’t you disclose everything about yourself? Otherwise you’re just going to be matched up with someone who is also lying about themselves and you really have nothing in common… then what’s the point?

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It’s NOT Ok!

This weekend is my work Christmas party, which should be interesting. I hate that I have to go “single”. I would elaborate but I’m afraid of who might stumble across this post.

I was reminded yesterday of a few things that have happened to me in the past,  how I dealt with it then, and how I would deal with it now.

A few years ago I was in a relationship with this guy, we’ll call him Artie, who is guy number 3 (refer to the first guy, I know, I know I skipped number 2, but this story called for it). Well Artie and I met in an odd kind of way. It was my birthday and I had my friend help me plan it. She had invited a few of her friends and Artie was one of them. I was waiting around for “another other guy”, so when he never came I decided “it’s my birthday, I’m gonna have fun!” and chatted it up with Artie. I thought he was cute. So a few days later I was pulling into my drive way when I saw Artie waiting at the bus stop. I casually walked (ran) over there to say hi. I can’t remember who asked who out, but we went out on our first date shortly after that and the rest is history. Well… not really. A few months later I invited Artie to a friend’s birthday party, which was held at a bar. Artie was a pretty outgoing fella, he didn’t drink, but I knew it would be fine since he kind of knew some of these friends. So we are at the bar (which was rented out for the party) and I’m off enjoying myself with my friends while Artie sat at the bar eating the snacks. Every once in a while I would go over, chat with Artie and the other guys he was sitting with, make sure all was good and would continue on with celebrating my friend’s birthday. At one point I look over and Artie is sitting at the bar talking to a girl, a girl I didn’t really know but had seen at other parties/events with the same group of people. I didn’t really think anything of it and shortly after it was time for me and Artie to leave.

A couple of weeks later Artie and I are out to dinner when he starts talking about his “friend”. Curious, because I never heard him mention her before, I ask about her. It’s the girl he met at the bar that night…. Wait just a second, you got a girls number at a bar, at a bar that I was also at with you??? Is that normal? I was new to this whole “exclusive thing” and didn’t really know for sure. Well he reassured me that it is normal, that he wasn’t drinking (SO?!?!?!) and that it’s just a friendly relationship (YOU MET A DRUNK GIRL AT A BAR, HOW IS THIS FRIENDLY). So I let it go, until a few weeks later he hangs out with her (without telling me) alone. I can’t remember how I found out, he must have slipped and said something (I wasn’t one of those girls that checked their cell phones, yet). He continued hanging out with her, spending only one day a week with me and a few days with her. Then one day I was at his house and he breaks it to me that “he will never love me”. And what does stupid little naive me do? Stay with him. WHY?!?!?! Because I was stupid and thought that was the best I could get, a guy who would never love me and who would rather hang out with a girl who was 3 years younger. It was tearing me apart, until one day I was left alone with his cell phone. I was so nervous, I had never looked in a guys phone before. My heart was racing, and I was scared at the idea of maybe getting caught. I opened the messages folder and there it was, message after message to and from that girl. Messages about how cute he is, and how cute she is, messages about how much fun they have together… of course he had an explanation. She was drunk when she wrote them, he was just being nice. And guess what, I believed every lying word that came out of his mouth.

A couple of weeks later he broke up with me. Not for her, he said, but for himself, because he needed to be single. He knew he would never love me so he had to get out. HA! 3 weeks later their relationship was official on facebook (god I hate facebook), and a month or so later they were engaged.

So what would I have done differently? Dumped his ass the second I found out he got a girls number at a bar. Whether he was sober or drunk, there is NO excuse to get a girls number at a bar, or at all for that matter, YOU’RE IN A RELATIONSHIP. Maybe they were meant to be, but any conversation that lead up to the exchange of numbers should never have happened. I would consider that cheating.

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Music <3

I love music!

I love the way it makes me feel, how it can really turn my mood right around. I love how it can feel like they are singing about your life and how much it relates to you. I love how some songs can just give you chills. I love when songs remind you of good times, and even bad. I love when a song brings tears to your eyes because it brings a rush of those feelings you had when you heard that song play during an important moment.

Some songs make me miss people, some songs make me realize how much I am happy someone is out of my life, or even in my life. Some songs make me cry, and some songs make me laugh.

But most of all, I love how a song can be such a huge part of your relationship memories, and even part of your current relationship. I have a song for every relationship and when I hear that song I am reminded of the good and bad times, but the song still brings me happiness because it reminds me of why I am who I am today.

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A Birthday Wish

I have this friend who was celebrating her birthday this weekend, and this friend seems to have similar luck as I do when it comes to celebrating her birthday. I’m not sure if it’s because of the time of year, but it seems that almost every year her birthday, and mine, are forgotten about. But I guess it just shows who your friends are when your birthday rolls around.

I have come to resent my birthday, at least the celebrating part. Last year I boycotted it and just went out for dinner with my boyfriend at the time. Two of my friends ended up taking me out (even though I paid for myself haha) and bought me a cake, which was really nice! But I refused to even consider celebrating it. Usually I plan my birthday well in advance because I know how hard it is to make time around the holiday’s (my birthday is a week before christmas) and at first I generally get a good response from people. But as soon as my birthday celebration day rolls around, no one shows up. And that has been the trend for a few years. Just as my friend’s birthday (which was supposed to be a surprise) rolled around, most people cancelled that it could no longer be a surprise party. It made me really sad, not only because I know how it feels, but that like me, she is the one person that goes to EVERYONE’S birthday/party/celebration, no matter what the event is she’s there. It made me sad because it was supposed to be a surprise and her boyfriend worked hard at making it happen and so many people cancelled.

I don’t know what it is about birthday’s but I love them, all of them. Whether it’s mine or a friends I think it is the one day that should be about you. I try to make it special for people, I try to make it a full day about them. And even if I can’t be with someone for their birthday, I think about them on their day. Not just a facebook message, but a text and an email. And even though that doesn’t seem like much, to me its the little things that count. But I always try to be there for their birthday, because even just being there is nice.

There is one birthday that I will never forget. It was my second year in university and my birthday fell on a Saturday (it sucked because during university my birthday was always during exam time) but this year it worked out, either my friends were ending their exams ON that day, or had a big enough break until the next one that they could all go out. It was Saturday night and I was about to hop in the shower when I get the news, the news that my birthday was cancelled.. I never knew that your birthday could be cancelled by other people. So I ended up crying most of the  night, mainly because that year I had made all their birthdays as special as I could, and in return mine was cancelled. It was that birthday that was a turning point for my hate towards my birthday.

I still love other people’s birthday, but every year when mine rolls around, I get these butterflies in my stomach and wish that I could just sleep through the entire day.

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Christmas Blues, and it’s only November

A friend of mine got me thinking about Christmas this year, and normally I get so excited since it is my absolute favourite time of year (and not just because my birthday is close to Christmas, which means more gifts for me :)) but this year my excitement level just doesn’t measure up.

There are a few things that are really stressful about the Christmas season. One is shopping for a guy, not just your guy but any guy, whether he’s your boyfriend, friend, brother or father, it’s extremely difficult. And this year I am finding that part to be the hardest. I’m not sure if it’s just me, but I have NO idea what to get my boyfriend, my dad, my brother or my little nephews. What would make shopping this year so much easier is if throughout the year no one bought ANYTHING and just kept a list of the things they want so when Christmas rolls around I have a list to choose from. Instead all these guys in my life get everything they want throughout the year which leaves me guessing. How do you buy for someone who has everything?!?!?!

My sister is the easiest, anything I like she would like so I go out pretending I am shopping for myself and buy her whatever I would want for myself.

This year I have asked my boyfriend to drop little hints. Like if we are at the mall, maybe he could just mention “I like this” and move on. That way I have ideas of what he likes and would want and it would make my shopping experience a little less stressful. Too bad I can’t do the same for my dad.

Not only do I have to worry about what I am going to get the guys for Christmas this year, but where do I spend it? I’ve always had to choose between two families growing up (one of the joys of having divorced parents) but now there are three (thank god my boyfriends parents are still together, that would be like the movie Four Christmases). I think we have worked out a pretty decent plan so far. Christmas eve we will be volunteering then going to his dad’s family for dinner, Christmas day is still unknown (depends on what my mother and sister are doing) and boxing day has always been dedicated to my dads.

But what if you don’t like the in-laws? What do you do? Do you spend it apart, or suffer through it?

What are your plans for Christmas this year. And if you’re in a relationship, how do you plan on spending it with the two families (or three, or four)?

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In One Year

It really is amazing at how fast things change. My life is completely different from what it was a year ago.

A year ago I was unemployed, searching for my big break. I was going to interview after interview. My hopes were slowly being diminished with every failed interview I had. I was worried about christmas and how I was going to be able to buy anyone a gift. I still had my promotion job, but it wasn’t enough. My savings were decreasing daily.
I was practically living at my exes house, since he didn’t work during the week, and going home to my parents on the weekends. All we did was get up super late, sit around, work out, eat and go back to sleep. It was depressing. I was unhappy. I felt like my life wasn’t going anywhere.

A year later I have a pretty decent entry-level job in the field I want to be in, I’m living on my own (well with a roommate), I have a new boyfriend who I am completely in love with and who my family really likes, and a life that feels so right! And all of this happened in just a year. Who knows where my life will take me in another year 😉

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Exes

I hate exes!! Especially the crazy ones!

I’m sure there were times when I was viewed as the “crazy ex”. We all have our moments of calling, crying, begging, anger etc… but how long should the craziness last? A few weeks is reasonable (well as reasonable as it can be), but a year? And after you already have a new boyfriend… come on!?!?! I’m sure if your current boyfriend knew about your craziness, your phone calls, your constant need to cry to your ex, he wouldn’t be too happy. And how does your ex feel?? YOU’RE DRIVING HIM CRAZY!!!

I hate the situation exes put you in. My boyfriends ex is one of the crazies. I don’t really know how to handle it. I haven’t really been in this kind of situation before. My ex boyfriends never really had exes that came up, or had exes at all, so it was never an issue. So far I’ve been pretty good at handling it. On the occasions when she calls/texts I just shake my head, but isn’t it time for her to move on? Especially since she has another boyfriend?

How long is too long?!?!?!

It’s not that I don’t think you can be friends with your ex, see my post on staying friends with your ex, but when it isn’t a friendly exchange, and someone ends up in tears, or yelling then it’s time to remove yourself from the situation. There is no need to contact your ex until you know that you can just be friends.

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