Monthly Archives: May 2011

Boys and Their Breakups!

A new person joined my company back in January. He started on the same day as a previous colleague of mine who I referred to this company. When more than one person starts on the same day, they usually do all their orientation together for the first week. If things work out, you’re almost guaranteed a friend out of it. So in this case, I was already friends with the girl I referred the job to, and she became friends with this guy, so now there are four of us (two guys, two girls) who eat lunch together almost every day.

During lunch, we usually get into some pretty interesting conversations, but somehow our topics lead back to the new guy and his ex girlfriend. TNG (the new guy) was dating this girl for 3 ½ years, and he said that he was ready to propose. However, they broke up before the New Year (I’m not exactly sure when, but it was before he started in January). He never gives a reason as to why they broke up, other than she was immature and he couldn’t deal with it anymore. But to this day he still comes off as extremely bitter about it.

TNG’s ex girlfriend is currently dating someone else, which could be the reason he is bitter. She moved on, and if the story is true that he broke up with her than she moved on REALLY fast. So some bitterness is understandable. However, she still texts TNG. She sends him messages about how her current bf is “alright” but she just isn’t that happy, suggesting that she was happier with TNG. What I find really interesting is he talks about how bitter/angry he is with the break up, how immature she is and that he couldn’t deal with it, but he considers getting back together with her.

We’ve all asked him what it was about her that made her immature. His response was that she doesn’t like to cook… well that’s a little sexist if you ask me. But, he comes from a family that does that stuff for him already. He also said that she smokes too much. Ok, well I really don’t think that smoking too much and not cooking is a sign of immaturity. That’s who she is, and buddy, she isn’t going to change. But then I have to remind myself, TNG is also young. He’s not much younger than me, only about 2 years. But HE is young.

What I find really interesting about this entire scenario is that just over a year ago, sitting in the same lunch room, with a different group of people, sat myself and my current boyfriend. And where did our conversations end up then? How bitter he was about his “current” breakup. It was a very similar situation. It was a mutual break up months before I started working at the company; she was dating someone new and was still calling/texting him. It really got to him, just like it gets to TNG. This is exactly what she wants, attention. The fact that our lunch conversations end up back at these girls means they win. And I told TNG the same thing I told the boyfriend: don’t give her the attention she is obviously seeking. Ignore her, because once you ignore her and move on, she no longer wins.

However, I do think that if you want to “win” after a breakup (if winning is really important), you need to move on and genuinely be happy. If your ex wants to rub in your face how successful they are or how great their current relationship is, then be happy for them. Because the best revenge is no revenge at all.

4 Comments

Filed under My life, Relationship Advice

Slacker

I must apologize for my lack of interesting blog posts this week, I’ve been slacking. Partly because I’ve been extremely stressed out at work, but also because I’ve been so busy doing other things that I’ve barely had time to sleep.

At this point it would be nice to have an anonymous blog so that I could bitch and complain about everything and not have to worry about someone reading who shouldn’t. But unfortunately it’s not anonymous, so you don’t get the joy of my complaints. I’ll keep those for guest posts and personal monologues (although they would make for an interesting read).

So instead I will let you all know what I’ve been up too. Since the big move I haven’t done much in terms of socializing. Moving out of the city has really put a damper on that part of my life. Although, it’s not like I did a whole lot of that when I lived in the city.

Anyway, I’ve been focusing a lot of my time on staying active and training for a half marathon. I joined a bootcamp, which has proven to be pretty successful so far. I’m still thinking about doing that fitness course , but I just need to prove to myself that I can keep it up. I’m really good at coming up with good ideas and motivating myself, but only for a short period of time. So if I can keep this relatively “healthy” lifestyle going, then I’ll definitely keep myself on track to become a fitness instructor.

I went out on a girls night a couple of weeks ago, which was really fun, but it got me thinking. So much has changed. I’m not the same person I was a few years ago. It was such a calm, uneventful night. We all met up for dinner, had a couple of drinks and we were on our way home by 11:30pm. I’m not complaining, I like that I didn’t wake up the next morning with a hangover. But I did realize how much I miss girls nights. We made a deal that we would try to do it every 2-3 months. Whether you’re in a relationship or single, life really gets in the way of everything else and without realizing it, 6 months can pass since the last time you’ve seen some of your good friends.

I expect to see these girls more often now that summer is just around the corner. It’s a lot easier to get yourself off the couch and go out for a drink on a patio on a warm summer night than it is in the winter.

I can already tell that this is going to be a great summer!

Leave a comment

Filed under My life

The Morning Show Blew My Mind!

The craziest thing happened on my drive into work Friday morning.

If you live in Toronto, and listen to the 99.9 Virgin Radio Morning show then you may have an idea what I’m talking about.

I used to be an avid Z103.5 morning show listener until they decided to change their morning show hosts after 10+ years, and now I can’t stand it. So I’ve reverted back to my middle school morning show, the MadDog and Billie show. They are great! Since I’ve started listening again, I forgot why I ever stopped.

Anyway, I’m sure most radio stations are aware of changes happening to their competition. Since Z103.5 changed their morning show hosts, I’ve noticed some hostility towards the station. There are two other competitors in the same target audience for morning show listeners, 99.9 Virgin Radio and Kiss 92.5. So how does a radio station grab the attention of their potential listeners?

Well, 99.9 Virgin radio pulled a Jerry Springer! Well done Virgin Radio, well done!!

Now, I’m sure you are all wondering what they could have possibly done to have me sitting in shock, stuck in traffic on a Friday morning with my jaw on my lap. Since this blog is about life and relationships, I wouldn’t write about it if it didn’t involve that. And Jerry Springer wouldn’t be the train wreck it is without people like this.

A girl, named Jackie, emailed into the radio station suspecting that her boyfriend of 2 years was cheating on her. The hosts decided to call her to get a little more info. The reason she suspected her boyfriend was cheating was because:
1. He recently put a password lock on his phone (probably the number one sign someone is cheating. If they didn’t already have one on there and suddenly decided they should, CHEATER!!)
2. He would bring is phone into the bathroom with him, all the time. (This is because he doesn’t want it lying around for her to have a chance to go through it)
3. He has recently become standoffish, not as lovey (this is usually a sure sign of a cheater)

There were other factors, but I can’t remember. Anyway, the hosts decided to see if they could help her out. So what did they decide to do? Well, Billie (the female host) decided to call the boyfriend, Rick, and pose as a customer service representative from his phone company. They dialed his number, he answered and she proceeded to tell him that his phone company was doing a special promotion for the month of May where they were thanking their loyal customers by sending roses to a person of their choice. So all he needed to do was give her the name of the person he would like to send flowers to, their address and a personal message. He was surprised, but appreciative of the gesture. He thought for a second and said “Send them to Laura” (please note that his girlfriend who called in was named Jackie, who was still on the line listening, as was all of the GTA). Billie, without giving herself away, asks what he would like to say in the personal message. “Umm… it has been nice getting to know you, and I look forward to the weekend. Xoxo Rick”. At this point, MadDog jumps in and introduces himself as himself and the host of 99.9 morning show. Then he asks if Jackie has anything to say. At this point, Rick is flabbergasted, he doesn’t know what to say, he is stuttering, but he pulls the most ridiculous story out of his ass.

Rick: “Jackie, what did you do?”

Jackie: “Who’s Laura?”

Rick: “She is ummm…uhhh… a co-worker. We just got to know each other umm… uhhh… I’m trying to build work relationships and maintain them….”

Jackie: “You don’t send roses to a co-worker!!”

Rick: “Well it’s just to maintain our working relationship”

MadDog and Billie: “What about this weekend? Are you seeing her?”

Rick: “I have a work conference this weekend, so yeah, she will be there… but that’s it. Jackie, come with me this weekend you will see”

Jackie: “I’m not coming with you! Do you think I’m stupid?”

Rick: “I’m not doing this on the f**king radio…..”

And the line goes dead.

WOW! WOW! WOW! I didn’t know if I should laugh, applaud, or be offended that the radio station would do such a thing (yet, it was too brilliant to be offended). Of course the radio station received multiple phone calls from their listeners expressing their response to what just happened.

This got me thinking, not only about how amazing of a stunt this was and how they probably secured a ton of new listeners who abandoned their old radio station and were debating between the other two. But, it got my relationship mind juices flowing.

I’ve discussed cheating in previous posts, but this got me thinking about gut instincts. We all have them, whether it’s within a relationship or just meeting someone for the first time. Jackie had gut feelings that her boyfriend was cheating on her, and look how that turned out.

I’m not saying that every gut instinct you feel is correct, but you have to think about why you got those feelings. Something about that person struck a chord with you, and in most cases your initial feelings are right.

I dated a couple of guys were I had that gut retching feeling that they were cheating. It’s like someone grabbed a hold of your insides and was twisting them. And in both cases I was right. I figured one out by checking his cell phone and the other by connecting the obvious dots.

But do you go on a radio station and have them air your dirty laundry in front of hundreds/thousands of listeners? Why the hell not? The great thing about radio is no one can see your face, they don’t announce your last name, and your voice usually sounds quite a bit different on the radio.

Congrats Virgin Radio, you’ve won this listener over!

7 Comments

Filed under My life, My Relationship, Relationship Advice

Pursuit of Happiness

If we’d stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time.”

I found this quote on the bottom of a colleague’s email and it got me thinking, we spend so much of our time worrying about how happy we could be, and what we can do to be happier, that we forget what it’s like to just be happy.

What makes you happy? Maybe it’s just a quiet night at home with a book and a nice glass of wine. Maybe it’s spending time with the people you love. Or maybe it’s just hanging out with your best friends. Whatever it is, you should be proud to do the things that make you happy rather than worrying about it.

The definition of unhappy: Not happy or joyful; sad or sorrowful. Not satisfied; displeased or discontented. I notice when I try hard to be happy, these feelings arise. I end up making myself miserable.

I would be happy if I could spend every day with the people I love. But rather than worrying about how much time I spend with them and what I’m going to do when I have free time, I should just live in the moment.

That quote can definitely apply to relationships. I was once in a relationship where I was so concerned about how happy we were and about doing the things that made us the most happy (or that helped us forget how unhappy we really were), I forgot to stop and think about how I really felt, which was miserable. If I had stopped trying so damn hard to be happy, I wouldn’t have been in the relationship for so long.

When I think about when I was the most happy, it was when I didn’t have to think about it at all. Sure, I’m REALLY happy today, but there are things that I have to dodge around in order to make my life “better”. I’ve had to work at being happy. But if I could just simply BE happy, then I know I was doing something right.

Tell me about the simple things that put a smile on your face?

1 Comment

Filed under My life

Too Much Too Soon?

Happy Mother’s Day weekend to all the wonderful mothers out there!! Especially my mom, because she’s the best mom ever!!! (at least to me she is :))

Anywho, let’s get down to business. I started this blog to talk about my relationship experiences, and it’s about time I talk about it!

I have this best friend who is dealing with something most of us are familiar with, newly single and dating. And since I am not single, nor dating, I must live my blog vicariously through her (and other single friends). I love hearing her stories about the single life and all it has to offer… or not offer in some cases.

She entered into singlehood back in December. A decision, I believe, was the best decision for her. She moved home after being away for a couple of years, a transition I am somewhat familiar with and understand the struggles of it. But not only was her life changing romantically, but her career path was also taking on a new life. She is now able to focus her time on what she wants to do, rather than working any old job just to pay the rent.

Since she has been home, she’s been out on a couple of dates. But is well aware of the fact that she needs to wait until she is ready before jumping into another relationship. For some it can take only a couple of months before they are ready, and for others, well they just never get over their ex. But she’s out there, testing the waters and see what else this crazy world of dating has to offer.

Recently, she met a boy. I don’t know too much about the logistics of their meeting and how it went from meeting to a first date, but that’s besides the point. What matters is what happens after the first date.

I was reading a post by Matthew about eagerness after a date. I’ve experienced the “way too soon” phone call/text that totally creeped me out and I went running from a second date. But what happens if the timing is just right, but the date suggestion is a little too much too soon? Let me clarify, what if he asks you to a work event where you would meet his coworkers on your second date? Is that too much too soon? I’d vote YES! But is it enough to creep you that you no longer want to see this guy? Probably not. If that were me, I would probably say “No thanks” and move on. I wouldn’t give him a second chance. Not because it’s weird, but because it seems a little desperate.

“But what if he’s really nice?” before my ex, the being nice card wouldn’t fly with me. That wouldn’t be enough to give him another chance after asking me to a work function on the second date. However, I think if I were single now I would. So what did she do? She gave him a second chance! And you know what, she likes him and he makes her happy. Kudos to her.

I don’t know where she stands with him, are they “dating” or are they “just friends”, will it go somewhere? I don’t think she even knows yet, but that’s the joy of the single life, the unknown.

2 Comments

Filed under Relationship Advice

Never Say No To Panda

I honestly wish I had more time to blog these days. I’ve been so busy and the days just seem to fly that I have no time to even think. My sincere apologies to all you loyal readers. I promise when things settle down (hopefully in the next week) I can share stories about me and the boyfriend.

Until then, enjoy….


This is the most ridiculous commercial ever!!

2 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized