It’s Only the Beginning

I think I’ve reached my boiling point and it’s time for a change.

Part of the reason I have been hesitant to start looking for a new path in my career is because I feel bad for leaving a company that has provided me with some really great experiences. If it wasn’t for this place, I wouldn’t have started my path in the right direction as early as I did. I really lucked out with this job.

I was fresh out of school, no job and no connections. I began my search for a full-time position online but saw no response. I had multiple interviews, but I had nothing, other than my education, to back me up. One of my friends had experienced the same problem and decided to go through a temp agency. I was hesitant because I heard only horror stories of temp agencies, but she assured me that it’s nothing like the stories I’ve heard. I tried it out and within a week I had interviews lined up.

Since I’m part of the generation that believes I don’t need to start at the bottom and work my way up, I can get a manager position right out of school, I was turning down some great opportunities with high-profile companies because I didn’t feel like the position was up to my standards. I had a reality check when I realized I was running out of the little money I had saved, a car I needed to pay for and my student loans creeping up on me. I took the next job after that. Which landed me here.

It was actually a pretty bad job. I started as a telemarketer. I did it for four months in order to pay for all my new bills (while looking for something in my field of study), until a position in another department opened up and I knew this was my opportunity. I got the job after a month of training, interviewing and proving I could do it without any experience. I was extremely thankful and worked my butt off to prove they made the right decision.

Jump ahead about a year when my manager leaves. Some background on the company, your only chance for a promotion is if someone leaves. I knew that my being here for only a year wasn’t long enough to grant a promotion, but I hoped that it meant some kind of growth opportunity for me. I had many talks with the senior management about my progression and that I would love to take on more responsibility. Initially, he was excited. I stepped up and took over the position for two months while they searched for a replacement. I was promised so many great things… that was until my new manager started.

Every promise that was made has slowly been revoked. I’ve lost more responsibility than I had even before my old manager was here. Although, I seem to be busier than ever. This could have something to do with the fact that the new manager doesn’t really know what she is doing and I not only have to do my own day-to-day work, but hers as well, without getting any credit for it. Every day I am presented with more and more frustration and I make a point to handle it all with a smile on my face. But this is all causing some serious stress when I get home. From 9-5 no one would ever know something was bother me (other than my friends who I talk to about it), but when I leave here I feel like a ton of bricks just fall on my head and shoulders and I want to crawl in a hole forever.

I would also feel terrible for leaving because so many people have left in the last year. I can see what kind of stress this is causing senior management. I don’t want to be part of that stress.

But another reason I get nervous when I think about looking for another job: my boyfriend works with me. We met here, we started our relationship here and I have no idea what I would do without him. We drive into work together, eat lunch together, and play on the work softball team together… I just can’t imagine being at work and knowing that he isn’t close by. I know that the day will come when we no longer work together and I believe that it would be a good thing for the relationship, but it’s scary taking that first step away from it all. It’s what I imagine a mother would feel like when her child starts daycare after spending every day together on her maternity leave.  

It would be a major change, but I think it would be worth it. I’m not as happy as I could be, and in turn I feel I am not giving my relationships (with the boyfriend, friends and family) all I can give.

But where do I start?

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5 Comments

Filed under My life

5 responses to “It’s Only the Beginning

  1. You’ve already started…contemplation is a stage of change. It can last a few weeks to a few years for some people. You are thinking it through and that is a great place to start. Pain usually motivates us to make a change and you are experiencing some pain. A job is like a relationship. I believe we can only take so much pain before we realize that abandoning ship will be less painful then staying where we are. Trust me, you will know when it is time to really leave. Either things will get better and the pain will let up so you want to stay, or things will continue to get worse and the build up of pain will propel you into action. Until you know for sure, keep weighing your options. It was hard for me to leave every job I’ve had, (I’m on my 3rd job of my career) but after I told my supervisor I was leaving, every time I felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders. It was the right decision every time, but I was still sad. The transition time is hard, but its worth it in the long run….Good Luck with your decision process!!!

    • Thanks!

      That’s a good way to look at it, it’s like a relationship. Sometimes they don’t work and sometimes they last a life time. I guess it’s only a matter of time before I realize where this “relationship” will take me.

      Thanks for the comment 🙂

  2. Pingback: It’s Only the Beginning | MY Lover

  3. That’s a rough situation but all in all, if you’re not happy there I think you need to find the next place to move on to. I know that’s what I’m basically trying to do in my current position.

    I’m not the biggest fan of my job and every time my girlfriend asks me how my day was, or how work was, I really don’t have anything to share because it was the same damn thing. Or I’d have something to gripe about.

    I even asked her at one point not to ask me anymore because I didn’t want to become “that guy” or “that type of boyfriend” who just complains about his job. She smiled, gave me a kiss and told me I’m not because I do so much more than just my job and I still rock my job so it’s not like I’m becoming a worthless pile.

    Either way. You are on your way because you notice the change being needed. Just don’t let the fire burn out. Keep it goin!

  4. Pingback: Random News | Amanalynn

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