We Missed A Step

Monday’s are getting old. Especially the “it’s Monday… again!” posts.

I wish I had juicy stories to tell all you wonderful readers about. Maybe a fight the boyfriend and I had or a brand new relationship dilemma. But unfortunately I can’t fulfill those expectations.

Don’t get me wrong, the boyfriend and I argue. We aren’t perfect. But they are never exciting arguments, just petty little disagreements about whose father we will spend father’s day with, or what I want for dinner versus what he wants. Normal, simple, everyday relationship disagreements.

I’m also not saying that we handle every little argument with great ease and are all lovey dovey 5 minutes later. Sometimes the little arguments get blown out of proportion and we end up having an actual fight about it. But, we are both working on ways to handle things differently. I don’t like to talk about my feelings, or about the fight we just had. I would much rather cool off, wait a little bit and then resolve whatever caused the disagreement. Whereas the boyfriend likes to talk it out right away. So, we are working on a way that we can have a happy middle. We haven’t perfected it yet, but we’re trying.

We tend to get into little tiffs while we are working out. I’m so used to my ex being super competitive with me, that even while we were working out he always had to one up me, or be slightly ahead of me while running. I haven’t been able to get over that. So when the boyfriend and I work out that’s always going through my head. When he is one step ahead of me while running, I will try to catch up so we are running together and then he speeds up, so I get discouraged and think he is just trying to compete with me. He’s told me numerous times that he isn’t trying to compete, but I have to work on not jumping to that conclusion when he ends up ahead of me.

Friday night the boyfriend and I had a long-awaited date. We haven’t gone out on very many official dates. I think in the period of our relationship we’ve been out on four official dates now. What’s an official date? Well, a nice restaurant, nice clothes, a bottle of wine etc…

Our first date was back in August. I guess you could say we went out on a few dates prior to August, but then that would make me a cheater (since I was in another relationship up until the end of July).  But for our first real date, he picked me up all decked out in nice clothes with flowers in hand. It was such a nice evening. The second date was my birthday. Not as fancy, no flowers (although he did give me a birthday present the day before) but was a nice evening over all. The third date was Valentine ’s Day. This one would be comparable to my birthday. Beautiful gift (a Tiffany’s necklace) and a pretty good meal. And the fourth just happened on Friday night.

I took him out this time. I made reservations on a nice restaurant; we got dressed up and had a wonderful meal. But since we “live together” now dates just don’t feel the same. He doesn’t get me flowers; there is no pick up/drop off at the front door. I feel like we’ve missed out on an important part of the dating experience.  Is it wrong of me to want these things? I’m not a material girl, but flowers every once in a while would be a nice little surprise, or a planned date night.

We go out for dinner a lot, but it’s usually in a group setting. If it’s just us we usually end up at Subway, and that’s not very romantic. I get that we are trying to save money, but I’m sure there are tons of other options rather than spending too much money on a date.

And this is where I need your help. I would love to hear about your romantic/fun dates that didn’t cost a lot.


Filed under My life, My Relationship, Relationship Advice

4 responses to “We Missed A Step

  1. Pingback: We Missed A Step | MY Lover

  2. My husband loves to save money. We don’t go out to eat unless we have a gift card or a coupon (and to get the most out of the gift card we always order water, I know really romantic). However, we save so much money by not going “out” on dates that we were able to take a 7 day cruise in the Caribbean this year which was very romantic. So needless to say, we go on a lot of dates without spending money even when we first got together. Now, we live right by a state park so we go for a walk and then have a picnic lunch (sometimes it is Subway sandwiches). We also go to Minor League Baseball games to save money or go on half price Monday’s for Major League games. We consider those dates, although again, we take a water into the park and eat before we go to the game to save those extra dollars. Not many people could handle how my husband is more practical than romantic, but he has so many other great qualities that I overlook it and live for those vacations that we save all year for. Every couple is different and I enjoy staying in with my husband as much as going out. For some people it is different. It is okay to sacrifice if you know it is going to pay off with something else you really want…don’t give up on those dates unless you are really saving up for something even better.

    • I like the idea of a picnic. It’s inexpensive and romantic!

      We are saving up for something better than dates, a house! I don’t need the expensive dinner date, but some quality time with the boyfriend outside the house. When we do spend alone time together, it’s usually working out. So I’m looking for a cheap way to spend other time together.

      Thanks for the comment 🙂

  3. Pingback: Top Ten: First Date Locations | Amanalynn

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