I’ve been very fortunate to have a place to live. I love that I can save money and do the things I want because I have been given the opportunity to do so. However, the one thing that I can’t help but think about is how much I miss the city (or maybe it’s my car that I miss).
Recently when I lived in the city, it wasn’t like I really lived there. Part of the problem was that my boyfriend “wasn’t allowed” to be at my apartment (based on roommate rules) and as a result I felt restricted in the time I could spend there as well. Since my boyfriend and I liked to spend most of our nights together, this made it extremely difficult to spend a lot of time at my apartment and we ended up spending most of our nights at his parents’ house outside the city. I haven’t truly lived in the city since 2008.
When my parents decided to sell their house in the city and move an hour north, it was time I got a car. This made the whole transition a bit easier. I was still able to drive down to the city whenever I wanted, but the car restricted me from going out and drinking since I would have to find a place to sleep.
Some things happened between me and my parents and I ended up moving over an hour west of the city, but this only lasted 4 months before I decided it was time I moved out on my own.
While living on my own only lasted 9 months, during this time I rarely used my car, so I lent it to my sister. Since it was costing me to keep the car insured I didn’t want this extra burden given that I never used it anymore. Everything was accessible via public transit, and whenever I went anywhere outside the city the boyfriend and I went together and he would always drive (I’m much better at being a passenger during long drives). Since my sister needed a second car, we made a deal that she would buy the car from me and I would no longer need to pay for the insurance anymore. This was perfect! I was living on my own and I was able to save some money at the same time. But the living situation didn’t last as long as I hoped.
During this time, the boyfriend and I discussed buying a place together. However, if I were to move out completely on my own and pay rent by myself, there was no way I would be able to save enough. So, I moved home…
Well, I moved my stuff home. Since I got rid of my car, there was no way I could actually move home and be able to get to work every day. I didn’t want to buy a new car since I was supposed to be saving, so the boyfriend and I had some serious discussions, and one of them was with his parents and we thought it would be the best idea if I moved in with them. This way I would be able to spend a lot of time with the boyfriend, have a ride into work and be able to save up for our future together.
So far this has been working out great! The only thing is I now wish I had a car. I can never win!
The boyfriend drives standard so I can’t use his car, and this can be frustrating when I want to go out for lunch with a friend, or meet a friend for dinner. I almost never get to do these things because I have no way of getting myself around. The boyfriend is completely open to driving me, but I feel bad. And when you can drive yourself, you get to choose when you’re ready to leave.
This Friday, the boyfriend was asked to play in a softball game in the east end of the city. This leaves me with a couple of options:
- Go with the boyfriend
- GO train to the west end of the city and walk home, then not really do anything because once I’m there I’m stuck there without a car
- Visit my sister (this is if she is available, I haven’t asked yet) because he can drop me off on the way
- Visit a friend (I would need to figure this one out soon since I haven’t asked anyone yet), and get dropped off and picked up along the way
D and C aren’t too bad, but if I had a car I could do whatever I want. I could go home and then go out. I could go visit a friend and leave when I am ready to leave.
And it’s usually on these occasions (when the boyfriend has softball) that I do see my friends. It makes it easier to plan something when I know the boyfriend will be in the area.
Maybe I’m being selfish, but it’s nice to have the option to pick up and go whenever I feel like it. I mean, I’m not complaining about the boyfriend not driving me, because he does and I appreciate all that he does for me. But I would love to have that independence again.
All of this is completely my fault. I had a car and I gave it away. It wouldn’t be very smart of me to buy another one now because I don’t have that much saved (especially since the boyfriend and I want to buy a house hopefully by the end of the year). But 8 months ago I would never have imagined that I was living with the boyfriend out of the city. I was only a couple of months into my lease and loving how accessible and convenient everything was to me. I do believe that when I made the decision to get rid of my car, it was the right decision at the time.
We live and we learn.
The moral of this story: I have to learn how to drive standard. Or to stop whining… either one works.