We all have them. We have some that we would do anything to go back and change, and some that we kind of regret, but know that if we could go back and change it, we wouldn’t. Why? Well because some of those regrets led to some of the most amazing things in our lives.
Like, I sort of regret going to the University I went to. But image if I didn’t go there? How completely different my life would have turned out. I wouldn’t have met the people I did, I probably wouldn’t have gotten the jobs I did, or met my boyfriend.
I have smaller regrets, like spending money on something I probably shouldn’t have. And these are the types of things that, if never happened, my life would probably still be pretty much the same.
Last night, after watching an episode of Being Erica, which, thanks to Netflix, has become my new fav show and is all about going back and fixing her regrets, the boyfriend and I talked about some of the regrets we have.
Ok, it was more like he talked about the regrets he had and I just got silly. I find it really hard to talk about really serious stuff, so when he asked me what my regrets were, my response was “eating that bowl of ice cream tonight after dinner”… I know…
But it had me thinking about all my regrets. One in particular is I wish I had spent more time with my grandmother. She had a sudden death, and every moment I could have spent with her vanished. She was always there when we were growing up. She lived with us for a period of time. And then we grew up and we didn’t need a babysitter anymore, so we rarely saw our grandmother. I regret it terribly. I miss her everyday and I always think “if only I stopped being so selfish and spent a little more time with her”.
And this brought me to regret the little time I spend with my family. We don’t see each other enough. Part of the problem is I live on the other side of the city (which I do not regret, but it sucks that we all live in different areas of the city).
The one thing I regret most is how I’ve let what other people think dictate the way I’ve made decisions, acted, and just overall become the person I am today. I’m constantly worried about what other people think. And this has been my biggest regret.
But these regrets are in the past, and since we can’t change the past, it’s the future we will have to work towards changing. So I’ve decided that I am going to work on what I regret with my past to ensure that they don’t affect my future.
Regret #1: Don’t let what other people thing dictate who I am.
Let’s see how well I can do with that. Tonight will be my first test since tonight is the first time I’m teaching a bootcamp class. And if I can just let myself go and not worry about feeling embarrassed, then I know I’m heading in the right direction.