My dad’s famous saying. Well that and “Unbelievable”. He usually uses “unbelievable” when he can’t believe someone did something. For example, when my stepmom didn’t empty the dishwasher, but proceeded to put dirty dishes into it when it’s clean/full. Or when my brother goes to put garbage in the already full to the rim garbage bin but swears he “didn’t notice”. If you haven’t noticed the trend, it usually has to do with cleanliness. And that’s where I get my “OCD” on cleanliness from.
Ever since I can remember my dad has always told my sister and I that we are responsible for the decisions we make. If we make a bad decision, we have to deal with the consequences. If we make a good decision, well then that’s when he can take the credit for raising us right! Of course he would give us his opinion if we asked, but never really forced his beliefs on us. The one thing my dad did have was the “disappointed look”, the look that was worse than anger. The look you would cry over because “how could I possibly disappoint my dad?”. And it was that look that I saw when I made decisions.
But what happens when a parent completely removes themself from their childs decision-making? What if the parent lets the child make whatever decision they want without warning them of the consequences? Who do these children become? Well, I bet those children become the adults that struggle to get through life. Maybe they end up in jail, or in major financial trouble, because their parents never taught them how to make the “right” decisions.
Sure my dad had the mentality that “you make your bed, you lie in it”, but he still had a way of letting us know if the decisions we were making were the “right” ones (the reason I quote “right” is because who really knows what the right decisions are? Maybe my right decision isn’t your right decision).
I’m sure being a parent to a teenager is one of the most difficult things to deal with because teenagers never want to listen to their parents. They are old and have no idea what a teenager is going through. But once that teenager grows out of that stage they realize that their parents really do know what they were talking about, kind of. So how do you make sure you are the parent that does the right thing? Parenting is scary. Who wants to have control over another persons life and screw them up?
It’s amazing how different one family is from another. Yesterday I witnessed the boyfriend having a conversation with his parents about his job. His parent’s advice and involvement is so different from what my parents would have said/done in the same situation. Not that their advice was necessarily “better” but just different.
The boyfriend and I have very similar beliefs in life, which is part of the reason we get a long so great. But our parents definitely raised us differently. And it really shows when we are making the same kinds of decisions. For example, when it comes to our career, I was brought up believing that I should get paid for the amount of work I do and the responsibility I have. He believes that when we are young it’s not necessarily about the pay, but getting the most responsibility and the best title while you’re young so that it pays off in the future. But overall, we both want to succeed.
I guess part of the reason I would rather have the pay over the title is because I’ve had to work/pay for the things I’ve wanted. I learned the value of a dollar at a young age. Sure it would have been nice to have things paid for, your school, a car etc… but I did learn a lot from working 13 jobs in 9 years.
So dad, thanks for teaching me how to make my bed!!