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Sex and the City?!?! The Friendship Edition

I’m really tired of trying hard to be friends with everyone. There was a day when I had so many groups of friends, there was never a night where I didn’t have something to do. I always imagined that my late twenties would be exactly like Sex and the City, except I didn’t want to date a lot of guys, I just wanted a group of girlfriends like Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love having a night off, or two. But there are some things that I need to prioritize in my life and one of those things is friendships.

I realize the importance of having friends. And I feel like I can make friends fairly quickly, but recently I’ve been so tied up with moving into my new place (which involved moving away from everyone and everything I know, since it’s on the opposite side of the city), and a new job that takes up a lot of my time.

I’ve also picked up some hobbies, hobbies that take up a lot of my time. When I’m not at work, I’m so busy doing everything else that I rarely have time to even send a text message.

I know this is no excuse, but when you start to grow up and have other things to do, you don’t have the time you once had to spend every moment with friends.

Today I was reminded of the two friends that I’ve had for a long time and, that no matter what, will always be there. But at the same time I was reminded that the friendships I thought I have made are not real. They are fabrications of what I wish a friendship was.

It’s silly, but this is a constant reminder that I really need a friend that is my go to person. Someone who isn’t my boyfriend, though I love having him to talk to.

I feel like I don’t have that friend in my life where I can just hang out with, talk to about nothing, and just be myself.

5 years ago I never would have thought that I would be sitting in on a saturday night, thinking about the fact that I don’t really have a “good friend”. Because 5 years ago I swore everyone was my “good friend”.

Maybe that’s where I went wrong.

When I was in university, I wanted so bad to be a part of this group of girls. I wanted to be “in” with them and when I clearly wasn’t, it tore me apart. To this day I find it hard to see pictures of them all together, still friends. However, I don’t blame anyone but myself for what happened with them.

And this is what is happening now.

Maybe it’s jealousy… no, it IS jealousy. I’m jealous that they all get a long so much better than with me…. and this is something I need to figure out. Why, why do they all get along better with each other than they do with me. Why do my current friends/acquaintance get along better with each other than they do with me?

I realize I’m a little crazy… in the sense that I have a very mild case of OCD. This applies to things like having control over a situation, cleaning, where things are placed/misplaced. I could tell you EXACTLY where something is placed, as long as I’m the one who put it there, or it hasn’t been moved since the last time I saw it. I can tell when one little thing has been moved, and it actually bothers me. I can’t stand messes, so if I’m having people over, more than half my night is spent tidying up. The boyfriend pointed out that this is a problem.

I’ve also realized that this has caused distances within my friendships. I know that I’m a difficult person to live with because of this, and I may be a difficult person to be around (especially when it’s in my home) in general. But is this the reason I can’t keep long term friendships?

I kind of feel like I’m in grade 10 gushing about why I don’t have a boyfriend… Now I have a boyfriend and I am gushing about why I don’t really have any friends. 

This wasn’t on an episode of Sex and the City… though if it was, it would end with me and three of my best girlfriends out at a VIP lounge having a cocktail.

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Warming our house!

We finally warmed our house with friends and family.

When I woke up Saturday morning, and looked out my bedroom window, my heart sank. Mother nature was being cruel and snowed all over us over night. I got my first cancellation phone call at 10am.

My history of parties is not a good one. Most of the time something happens and most people, one time no one, shows up. When I received my second cancellation phone call I felt like our night was doomed.

As the day went on, the sky cleared up and the snow began to melt. I wasn’t feeling any better about the possible turnout until I received A couple messages saying that they were for sure coming and the two that canceled were coming to!

By around 5pm our house was packed and by 730, everyone who said they would be there was there. Our small home was filled with all the important people in our lives. I couldn’t have asked for a better turn out or a better group of people to share our home with.

The best part of Saturday night was all the left over food! We haven’t had to go grocery shopping yet!

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My first iPost

I’ve converted over from the blackberry world, into the apple world. And this is my first post written strictly on my iPhone.

What will this post be about? Well nothing, because, frankly, my life’s been pretty boring lately.

Remember how I mentioned back in another post (which I would link if I knew how) that I wanted to take a fitness instructor course? Well, this past weekend I did the next best thing, a personal trainers course. Now all I have to do is pass the exam and I’ll be a certified personal trainer! Wooohoo!

What’s my plan now that I have this certificate? Not much, not yet. I’ll be able to help myself out more, hopefully help out friends and family, but that’s it for now.

I love fitness so much (hence my entire post on how much I love it) I just want to be really good at it and help others.

But other than that course, I’ve done nothing else. The boyfriend and I are just working on piecing together our place and adding the little touches that make it a home. Pictures to come, I’ve finally pulled my camera out of its hiding place and snapped a couple photos.

And how is living together? So far so good! We really do work well together and balance each other out.

Was my iPhone post successful? I guess as successful as it could be since I’m still learning how to use it.

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100th Post!

P.S. My last post was my 100th post! Congratulations to me!!!!! I wish I noticed before I posted, maybe I would have done something a little more 100th post worthy, like a list of my favourite 100 songs, or foods…

Anyway…

Thank you everyone who has stuck by my blog and continued to read even though I have been pretty MIA the last 6 months. Without all of you, I probably would still be writing, but no one would be reading, so I thank you.

I hope that I continue to interest all of you enough to return for more. Otherwise, thanks for stopping by!

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Marriage…

Apparently the thing that has been on everyone’s mind.

Ok, maybe not everyone, but I feel like it’s everywhere.

I’ve reached the age where friends, friends of friends, facebook friends etc… are all getting engaged. On my day after Christmas, day after New Years, day after Valentine’s day facebook checks, I anticipate a new engagement announcement. I have now for two years.

A lot of my friends have been in long term relationships, or in relationships that they believe are “the one”. Which is great! But this also means there is talk of marriage almost every time we hang out. Whether it’s “we are going to get married, I’m just waiting for the proposal” or “I know he’s the one, it’s just too soon to get engaged”, it’s all talk about getting married.

I’m beyond excited to, one day, get married. I’m right in the middle of those two points. It’s not a matter of when he is going to do it, nor is it too soon. It just is. When it happens it happens.

I’m so content with where we are right now. We just bought a house together and we are just getting used to the idea of it being the two of us.

Don’t get me wrong, I definitely think about it, A LOT! But part of that is because people are always talking about it around me. When we announced we bought a house, the second thing people said to me (the first being congratulations) was “When’s the wedding?” or “are you getting married?” And since all my friends are talking about I feel like it’s on my mind constantly.

I’ve thought about everything. From the location, to my dress, to the flowers. I’ve thought about the planning and all the things you do leading up to a wedding. I’ve thought about who would be in my wedding. I’ve thought about it all! But I try very hard not to talk about it… and here I am, writing a blog post about it.

It feels like I haven’t stopped thinking about it for weeks now, and the only way to get it of my chest is to write it all down and maybe, just maybe, I can move on with my thoughts and think about something a little more productive, like what I am going to make for dinner.

So, do I want to get married? Yes, one day. When it’s time. Not that I have a set time, but just when it’s time. But the biggest question should be, do I want to marry him? And my response is: I couldn’t imagine my life without him. So even if he never “pops the question” I’ll want to be with him forever.

Now it’s time for me to stop thinking about it and let things just happen. Because if it never happens, I could be setting myself up for some major disappointment. But if it does happen, I want to be surprised and happy rather than relieved.

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I’m in love!!

I’m completely and utterly in love with fitness. So lame, right? But hear me out. It has nothing to do with it being a new year, new resolutions blah blah blah… I’m not one of those people (anymore) that make a new year’s resolution to lose 10lbs, 20lbs and work out hardcore for the first month or two and give up when I realize it’s too hard. No, that’s the old me, the me that made those resolutions years ago.

Last year I made a new year’s resolution to run a half  marathon, and guess what? I did! The resolution came from the fact that I started running before new year’s eve. It wasn’t long before. I remember I got on the scale in mid December and almost cried.

In my first year of university, I put on the freshman 15, however, my 15 ended up being 25lbs. And when I started to lose that weight in my second year, I promised myself I would never get back to the weight that I was (unless I was pregnant). When I got on the scale in December of 2010 I was over the weight I promised myself I would never reach. So what did I do? I started running, like the next day.

In the spring of 2011 I joined a bootcamp, which really helped with my training for a half marathon. I signed up for a half marathon in August and by the time it rolled around, I was 15lbs lighter. Yes, I was trying to lose weight, but it wasn’t my usual goal tactics. I set a fitness goal to run the half marathon and because I had that goal, it made it easier to lose the weight.

Since the half marathon, I’ve continued to lose weight (although I’ve put a little holiday weight on) and I am now 20lbs lighter than I was a year ago.

I am in love with fitness. Look what it does!

Of course, if you want to lose weight, you have to change everything about your habits. You not only have to start working out, but you also have to eat healthier. I made those changes. But that’s just part of fitness. I like to splurge on greasy, fattening foods. Sometimes I like to go to a Chinese buffets twice in one week (ok, ok, not often, I just did it once last week and I felt horribly guilty about it). But if you don’t have that piece of cake, or chocolate, or an extra spoon of pasta, then you will start to resent your chosen healthy lifestyle and most likely give up on it.

I’ve learned to control what I put in my body by balancing out how much I work out versus what I’ve had to eat. I also have to look at what eating too much, or unhealthy will do to my goal of running a marathon. How will I ever be able to run that long if I stuff myself with hamburgers on a weekly basis?

I pretty much eat the same thing every single day for breakfast and lunch. I’ll have Ezekiel bread with margarine and homemade jam with a coffee and only a little bit of cream for breakfast and a salad for lunch. The salad is usually the same, various vegetables with a little bit of feta cheese and light Greek dressing. Sometimes I will add quinoa or chickpeas or tuna. But rarely do I eat anything else. To keep variety in my day, I’ll eat something different for dinner. However, now that we are living on our own, I have to come up with healthy, easy, fast, dinner options. This is going to be the biggest challenge. But I have a new goal, and I am fairly confident that because I have set a new fitness goal I will be able to keep to it.

I am going to be running 30k in March. I’ll let you know how it goes and if fitness and I are still having an affair.

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We’ve Moved!!!…. Almost.

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year… and merry/happy anything else I may have missed.

The boyfriend and I finally live in our own home. Ok, that’s a lie, we don’t live there just yet, but will be living there full time in less than 48 hours. We’ve had ownership over the house for a little over a month now, but have been taking advantage of the fact that we don’t have to move out of his parents house right away and painting/doing any other minor renovations. And we are DONE!Image

Every time I went there I forgot my camera, so instead I took a couple photos with my phone to capture the “before”, however, just recently I dropped my phone into the toilet. Everything works, except my camera and my picture/video albums. So I have no before photos.

Buying a house together has definitely been a learning experience. One thing I learned about the boyfriend is that he needs to write things down and make lists in order to get things done. For example, he has to sit down with a spread sheet and go over every expense/savings in order to determine how much he has left over at the end of the month. I handle these things a little bit differently. I like to pay for what needs to be paid for and whatever is left over I either put some into savings or spend. Simple. Easy. And no complicated spread sheets required. Part of my mentality comes from the fact that I have lived on my own before and have had bills to pay since I was old enough to open my own bank account.

The other thing he needs to do is compose lists after lists to organize himself. He has to do lists daily and when it came to getting ourselves organized to move into our house he created so many lists I lost track of it all. The lists were made up of all the things we needed to buy to paint, things we needs to paint, things we had, things we needed, things we knew we were getting for Christmas etc… ok maybe I’m exaggerating, but he made a lot of lists. I like to just go with it.

In a way I guess you would say we complement each other. He keeps things a little more organized than I do, and I try not to let us worry too much about the little things.

However, I have never been so stressed out in my entire life. We have been on the go since we first got possession of the house and we haven’t stopped. This is in no way an exaggeration. If we weren’t at our 9-5’s we were either at our house painting until 11pm or we were out buying things for our house. And to top it all off it was Christmas, so we were also doing our Christmas shopping when time allowed us. And after all that, I was determined to not let our activity level fall off the chart, so we went to bootcamp twice a week and ran at least once (which to me wasn’t enough, and thus added to my already high stress level).

As we head into our new lives together, I couldn’t be more happier. Someone at work said to me the other day that I looked so happy. I think part of it is because we are finally done all the heckticness of painting, but also because this is the beginning of the rest of our lives (together I hope!).

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