Tag Archives: best friend

New Love

New love *sigh* it’s a beautiful thing!

It’s a feeling of complete and utter happiness. You get butterflies in your stomach just thinking about the person. You find yourself wanting to talk about the person all the time and finding little ways to slip their name into a conversation. You drop everything and anything if it meant you could spend even 5 more minutes with that person. You smile more often and day-dream about them.

Sometimes you get so lost in new love that you forget about your friends. A couple of weeks go by and you stop and think “oh my, I haven’t talked to ____ in so long”. But you forget to send them a message. And then a month or two fly by, you’re busy doing everything with your new love. You’ve gone on a small road trip, or have seen a couple of movies. You may have met the family one Sunday afternoon. You still haven’t messaged that friend. But it doesn’t matter because you are so in love.

You made plans months ago to go on vacation with your friend, but how could you possibly spend a week away from your new love. You want to spend every waking moment with this person. So you cancel your plans. You feel a little guilty, but you know that they will get over it. You have never cancelled on plans before so this one time won’t hurt.

Over the next few months you make a point in spending a couple of hours with this friend. Maybe you get your nails done, or you go out for coffee. But it’s nothing like it used to be. You don’t want to spend an entire day/night away from your love so you make as little plans as possible. “But you’re still seeing her” you tell yourself “so it’s ok that I only want to spend a couple of hours with her”.

And then a year goes by. You may have seen this friend enough times to count on one hand. It makes you a little sad, but so much time has passed, how can it ever be the same as it was before?

The new love turns into much more and he proposes *yey* and you think “who am I going to ask to be in my wedding party?” The friends you once thought would be standing next to you sharing your special day are no longer your close friends anymore. You’re stuck with your sister and his sister and hopefully a best friend. What happened to “I have too many friends, how am I ever going to choose who is going to be my bridesmaids?” You lost touch with so many “friends” over the course of your new love.

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My biggest fear: Not having any good girlfriends.

I’m guilty of the above. Over time I’ve lost touch of some dear friends. Some of which are friends I thought would be standing next to me on my big day (not that it’s happening soon or anything). But as my “friends” start to get engaged and get married and I see pictures pop up on Facebook (the devil) it makes me think about my own situation.

I had to use this picture, it was just too cute

And as new relationship bloom around me and these trends begin to happen, I fear losing these friends.

My biggest fear is turning 30 and not having a single girlfriend to celebrate with me. Or getting married and (as much as I love my sister to death) only having my sister standing next to me.

As we get older our priorities change. My priorities stand with my career and my future family. My boyfriend is my number one priority. But that shouldn’t mean that my best friend(s) come last. They still hold a special place in my heart, but how do I stop myself from forgetting about them completely? And, as we get older our priorities vary from person to person. Just because I want to focus on my career and my future doesn’t mean my friends have the same ideas.

Its reasons like these that I feel “girl time” is so important – even if it happens only once a year.

New loves can consume you. But everyone forgives the blindness a new love causes. You just have to make sure that it doesn’t last forever. You usually gain your sight back after a year or so.

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Filed under My life, My Relationship, Relationship Advice

Never Foget Your Cell Phone!

I forgot my cell phone at home yesterday. Who knew how much I could miss in only a couple of hours? I’m addicted to my phone, it’s pretty much attached to my hand. I’m not necessarily texting all the time, but rather reading tweets, checking out what’s new on facebook, and reading bbm status updates as they come.

I got home yesterday after what felt like the longest day of my life! But that’s a whole other story. It was around 8pm while doing the dishes when I realized I still had not checked my phone. So I run upstairs with the dishtowel in my hand and grab my phone. 3 bbm messages, 26 emails and 11 facebook messages later I finally felt caught up. Well, that was until I got around to catching up on the million bbm updates and actually looking at the what’s new wall on facebook when I saw it, one of my high school friends got engaged yesterday.

It’s not like she is the first person from my high school to get engaged, or married or has kids, but she is the first one of my actual friends to get engaged. My roommate from university got engaged, but we stopped talking a few years ago. So this friend is the very first friend, who I still talk to, that is engaged. I’m not saying this means anything, or that I’m even invited (we’ll have to wait and see) but it’s given me this feeling all day that I can’t explain.

Part of this feeling is realizing that I’ve kind of grown up; we’ve kind of grown up. I mean, I’ve always known I’ve “grown up”. I have a grown up job, I’ve moved out of my parents (but kind of moved back), I’ve bought a car (but sold it), I’ve been saving to buy a house etc… but having one of my close friends from high school get engaged is completely different. That’s like REAL LIFE! Marriage is real, more real than living on my own or buying my own car or having a real job. It’s combining two lives into one, for life (at least that’s what we hope for when we make those promises at the altar). And generally kids come after marriage, and if that isn’t real then I don’t know what is.

The other part of this feeling is a bit of sadness.

I’ve always wondered what it would be like when my friends started getting married. I always questioned who would be first.

I have a small group of friends from high school that I still talk with, and an even smaller group from elementary school. I even remember having the “who do you think will get married first” conversation with these friends. We all guessed I would be last, which I still think is most likely the case. But we could never decide on who we thought would take the plunge first.

Over the years our group of friends has changed, people have grown apart and some have moved on. But I’ve always tried to keep in contact with everyone and stay in the middle (or out of the middle in some instances). There was a time when this friend (who just got engaged) and I were best friends; well there were actually three of us. We did everything together! But I was always the one who lived further away and it was harder for me to be around all the time, so naturally the other two were much closer. As we got older we changed (as anyone would) and we started to grow apart. And even though our friendships have changed and are not what they used to be, I’ve still thought about who would be the first to get engaged/married.

When it happened, it made me a little sad. I thought about all the things the three of us talked about, how we would all be in each other’s weddings, and who would be the maid of honour, and how we would decide that when the time came. Maybe those dreams about our perfect weddings with our best friends were silly, but they are the memories that bring a smile to your face when you think back on them.

I’m so happy for my friend and I only wish her and her husband-to-be a life time of happiness and love.

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Too Much Too Soon?

Happy Mother’s Day weekend to all the wonderful mothers out there!! Especially my mom, because she’s the best mom ever!!! (at least to me she is :))

Anywho, let’s get down to business. I started this blog to talk about my relationship experiences, and it’s about time I talk about it!

I have this best friend who is dealing with something most of us are familiar with, newly single and dating. And since I am not single, nor dating, I must live my blog vicariously through her (and other single friends). I love hearing her stories about the single life and all it has to offer… or not offer in some cases.

She entered into singlehood back in December. A decision, I believe, was the best decision for her. She moved home after being away for a couple of years, a transition I am somewhat familiar with and understand the struggles of it. But not only was her life changing romantically, but her career path was also taking on a new life. She is now able to focus her time on what she wants to do, rather than working any old job just to pay the rent.

Since she has been home, she’s been out on a couple of dates. But is well aware of the fact that she needs to wait until she is ready before jumping into another relationship. For some it can take only a couple of months before they are ready, and for others, well they just never get over their ex. But she’s out there, testing the waters and see what else this crazy world of dating has to offer.

Recently, she met a boy. I don’t know too much about the logistics of their meeting and how it went from meeting to a first date, but that’s besides the point. What matters is what happens after the first date.

I was reading a post by Matthew about eagerness after a date. I’ve experienced the “way too soon” phone call/text that totally creeped me out and I went running from a second date. But what happens if the timing is just right, but the date suggestion is a little too much too soon? Let me clarify, what if he asks you to a work event where you would meet his coworkers on your second date? Is that too much too soon? I’d vote YES! But is it enough to creep you that you no longer want to see this guy? Probably not. If that were me, I would probably say “No thanks” and move on. I wouldn’t give him a second chance. Not because it’s weird, but because it seems a little desperate.

“But what if he’s really nice?” before my ex, the being nice card wouldn’t fly with me. That wouldn’t be enough to give him another chance after asking me to a work function on the second date. However, I think if I were single now I would. So what did she do? She gave him a second chance! And you know what, she likes him and he makes her happy. Kudos to her.

I don’t know where she stands with him, are they “dating” or are they “just friends”, will it go somewhere? I don’t think she even knows yet, but that’s the joy of the single life, the unknown.

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Filed under Relationship Advice