Tag Archives: boy

I’m a Homeowner!

It seems I have started a trend on my blog. It’s how I start writing these days…”It’s been so long…” “I’m such a bad blogger…” “I promise I’ll blog more…” But all these promises are open promises and all my feelings of regret only last a couple of minutes. I’ve been busy, and this is not a lie.

I swear I haven’t had a minute to stop and write, let alone think of writing. Every once in a while I come back and catch up on some of my favourite blogs, but by the time I’ve caught up on their lives it’s time for bed.

I miss blogging, but only when I’ve had the time to actually think about it.

If you follow me on twitter (which I have also been slacking on), you may already know that the boyfriend and I bought a house. It closed on Monday. So we are officially home owners now! We don’t live there yet. We’ve decided to take our time, paint, furnish etc… and plan to be completely moved in by January.

The week leading up to our house closing was the most insane week in my entire life! The weekend before I had a trade show event I had to attend all weekend. By the time I got home on Sunday night  was so exhausted I passed out. On Monday morning I had my usual doctor’s appointment, which meant I had to stay later at work. Tuesday was the only day I could meet with the lawyer to close our house, so that also meant I had to stay at work later. Wednesday was the only full day I had to prepare for another tradeshow that was the coming weekend. That night the boyfriend and I went to visit his grandmother, who was very very sick (and unfortunately passed away this past weekend), and Thursday was the first day of the largest tradeshow of my career here. The tradeshow went all weekend and ended each day at 10pm. I was (and still am) exhausted. Monday we closed our house and got the keys.

My plan was to take the day off, but with being away at a tradeshow for two weekends in a row I had a ton of work to catch up on, so I came into the office for a couple of hours. Since I work close to the lawyer’s office, it was my duty to pick up the keys. I got the phone call at 3:30pm. I was so excited!!

 

So, five days later and I still haven’t caught up on sleep. We’ve been to our house twice this week and we’ve brought over toilet paper and a newspaper box… that’s pretty much all we’ve had time for. We were planning on starting our mini renovations this weekend, but with the passing of his grandmother that has been put on the back burner. Thank goodness we have family, like my father and his uncle, who love and are good at these types of mini renovations.

I promise I will put up before and after pictures. I just need to remember to take my camera with me when I go next time, otherwise there will be no before pictures to see.

But what’s new in the relationship, you ask? Well, not much. We’ve been learning to live together for the past 7 months, but it will never be the same as actually living together. I can’t believe it’s been 7 months since I moved out of my apartment in the city… Recently I’ve been trying to do a little more on my own. I love doing everything with the boyfriend, but I really do think it is important to spend a little time apart. I think it will become easier to do our own thing once we have our own place. I will be able to invite friends over, which will be so nice! I haven’t done that in such a long time.

I’m really looking forward to having our own lives, together.

Not working together has really changed our relationship. I feel like we are “normal” now. And we have more to talk about, even though I’m fairly certain he doesn’t really care about my workplace drama. I guess it’s hard to care when you don’t know the people. I have to beg him to tell me all about his workplace drama, otherwise he would never tell me willingly. It’s different because I know all the people he works with.

Oh, did I mention there is a bet on how long it will take me to get a cat. I’m going with 5 months. The boyfriend’s mom thinks it will be 3 months, max. I’m in love with their cats and when I’m away from the house for more than I day, I miss them like crazy. But these cats are not just your typical cat, they’re like dogs. They cry for your attention, they talk back to you (meow back?!?!) and they cuddle. I need a cat exactly like that! The best part about these cats, they’re like dogs but don’t require the work a dog requires, which is why I want one. I love dogs, but I don’t think I’m ready for their constant need of attention, walking, feeding etc… It’s too much work and it limits what you do. One day we’ll get a dog, but for now, I just want a doglike cat.

 

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Date Day

Lately my weekends have been feeling strangely long, but I’m not going to complain because it’s like I get a long weekend every weekend! This upcoming weekend is going to feel super long since I get Friday and Monday off. I can’t wait, I haven’t taken any vacation this year and I live for the long weekends.

This past weekend was really great. My dad and stepmom asked me awhile ago if I could take my younger brother to his baseball practice on Friday night and Saturday morning since they were both going away that weekend. I agreed. I figured they have done so much for me I may as well show my appreciation and do as they ask. It turned out to be pretty fun.

My dad and my step mother met when I was 8 years old and they had my brother when I was 12. So there is a pretty big gap in our age. When he was a baby I wanted to spend every single day with him; but as he got older, he slowly became the annoying little brother. When I moved out of my parent’s house last year, I found myself missing him. I always thought that we had lost the connection I had with him when he was little, but we are siblings and no matter what he will always be my little brother. However, in the last year he’s turned into my extremely tall little brother. I’m a pretty average person, in every way. I have the most average sized feet, the most average waist size and the most average height. I’m 5’5. In the last year my 13 year old brother has gone from shorter than my average height to probably over 6 feet tall. He’s taller than the boyfriend (haha). He’s also taller than my dad. Every time I see him he’s taller than the last time.

Anyway, it was nice to spend some quality time with him. We haven’t had a lot of opportunities to do that. His baseball practice was cancelled on Friday night because of all the rain we had, so we ended up going to watch the boyfriend play baseball. There was a really creepy man (probably on drugs or something) who decided to serenade everyone at the field. He was a terrible guitar player and an even worse singer. After no one paid any attention to him, he decided that his mother was calling him home for dinner. So weird.

Saturday we had to get up super early to drive my brother to his baseball practice. The boyfriend and I were planning on running after we dropped him off, but it was still raining, so instead we went back home and napped. I haven’t napped in so long, it was so refreshing. After my brothers practice we dropped him off at a friend’s house in the city and the boyfriend decided to take me out on a day date.

Now I don’t know if it’s because he read my post or if he just happened to think about taking me out on a date on a whim. But either way, I was really excited.  We headed over to the Distillery District because this weekend was the Toronto Jazz festival, and there was one band playing there (if you’re not from Toronto, the Distillery District is this “village” in the city that is all brick and lined with restored industrial buildings and it has one of my favourite breweries, Mill St.).

Our first stop was a coffee shop. The weirdest thing happened, as soon as I walked in (I have never been to this coffee shop before in my entire life) I instantly recognized the place from a dream I had not too long ago. The dream was f’d, but it took place in this coffee shop. Maybe I’ve seen a picture of it before, but I know for a fact that I had never been there, so it was really trippy having the sense of deja vu. Oh, and there was a guy wearing Toms, I didn’t even know they were available for men. Guess what the boyfriends getting for his birthday?!?! Haha… It’s for a good cause!!

We walked around the Distillery District and went into the different shops until we finished our coffee, and then we headed to the Mill St. brewery where we both had a pint. I had my favourite beer, Mill St. Organic, and he tried something new, Mill St. Wit, which is a wheat beer and comes with a slice of orange. It was good, but nothing beats Blue Moon. That is my absolute favourite wheat beer.

After our beer, we made our way out of the district and over to Gretzksy’s (yes, like the hockey player, he has a restaurant in Toronto) where we met one of our couple friends for dinner and watched a comedy show at Second City. It was a perfect date day!  

Yesterday I ran 14.7K for the first time! I also bought these sexy new shoes that encourage barefoot running. My body hated me right after this run and my calves are punishing me today for running in new shoes. It was worth it! A year ago I could barely run 5K and now I can run more than twice that. I’m very proud of myself 🙂

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It’s Only the Beginning

I think I’ve reached my boiling point and it’s time for a change.

Part of the reason I have been hesitant to start looking for a new path in my career is because I feel bad for leaving a company that has provided me with some really great experiences. If it wasn’t for this place, I wouldn’t have started my path in the right direction as early as I did. I really lucked out with this job.

I was fresh out of school, no job and no connections. I began my search for a full-time position online but saw no response. I had multiple interviews, but I had nothing, other than my education, to back me up. One of my friends had experienced the same problem and decided to go through a temp agency. I was hesitant because I heard only horror stories of temp agencies, but she assured me that it’s nothing like the stories I’ve heard. I tried it out and within a week I had interviews lined up.

Since I’m part of the generation that believes I don’t need to start at the bottom and work my way up, I can get a manager position right out of school, I was turning down some great opportunities with high-profile companies because I didn’t feel like the position was up to my standards. I had a reality check when I realized I was running out of the little money I had saved, a car I needed to pay for and my student loans creeping up on me. I took the next job after that. Which landed me here.

It was actually a pretty bad job. I started as a telemarketer. I did it for four months in order to pay for all my new bills (while looking for something in my field of study), until a position in another department opened up and I knew this was my opportunity. I got the job after a month of training, interviewing and proving I could do it without any experience. I was extremely thankful and worked my butt off to prove they made the right decision.

Jump ahead about a year when my manager leaves. Some background on the company, your only chance for a promotion is if someone leaves. I knew that my being here for only a year wasn’t long enough to grant a promotion, but I hoped that it meant some kind of growth opportunity for me. I had many talks with the senior management about my progression and that I would love to take on more responsibility. Initially, he was excited. I stepped up and took over the position for two months while they searched for a replacement. I was promised so many great things… that was until my new manager started.

Every promise that was made has slowly been revoked. I’ve lost more responsibility than I had even before my old manager was here. Although, I seem to be busier than ever. This could have something to do with the fact that the new manager doesn’t really know what she is doing and I not only have to do my own day-to-day work, but hers as well, without getting any credit for it. Every day I am presented with more and more frustration and I make a point to handle it all with a smile on my face. But this is all causing some serious stress when I get home. From 9-5 no one would ever know something was bother me (other than my friends who I talk to about it), but when I leave here I feel like a ton of bricks just fall on my head and shoulders and I want to crawl in a hole forever.

I would also feel terrible for leaving because so many people have left in the last year. I can see what kind of stress this is causing senior management. I don’t want to be part of that stress.

But another reason I get nervous when I think about looking for another job: my boyfriend works with me. We met here, we started our relationship here and I have no idea what I would do without him. We drive into work together, eat lunch together, and play on the work softball team together… I just can’t imagine being at work and knowing that he isn’t close by. I know that the day will come when we no longer work together and I believe that it would be a good thing for the relationship, but it’s scary taking that first step away from it all. It’s what I imagine a mother would feel like when her child starts daycare after spending every day together on her maternity leave.  

It would be a major change, but I think it would be worth it. I’m not as happy as I could be, and in turn I feel I am not giving my relationships (with the boyfriend, friends and family) all I can give.

But where do I start?

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Too Much Too Soon?

Happy Mother’s Day weekend to all the wonderful mothers out there!! Especially my mom, because she’s the best mom ever!!! (at least to me she is :))

Anywho, let’s get down to business. I started this blog to talk about my relationship experiences, and it’s about time I talk about it!

I have this best friend who is dealing with something most of us are familiar with, newly single and dating. And since I am not single, nor dating, I must live my blog vicariously through her (and other single friends). I love hearing her stories about the single life and all it has to offer… or not offer in some cases.

She entered into singlehood back in December. A decision, I believe, was the best decision for her. She moved home after being away for a couple of years, a transition I am somewhat familiar with and understand the struggles of it. But not only was her life changing romantically, but her career path was also taking on a new life. She is now able to focus her time on what she wants to do, rather than working any old job just to pay the rent.

Since she has been home, she’s been out on a couple of dates. But is well aware of the fact that she needs to wait until she is ready before jumping into another relationship. For some it can take only a couple of months before they are ready, and for others, well they just never get over their ex. But she’s out there, testing the waters and see what else this crazy world of dating has to offer.

Recently, she met a boy. I don’t know too much about the logistics of their meeting and how it went from meeting to a first date, but that’s besides the point. What matters is what happens after the first date.

I was reading a post by Matthew about eagerness after a date. I’ve experienced the “way too soon” phone call/text that totally creeped me out and I went running from a second date. But what happens if the timing is just right, but the date suggestion is a little too much too soon? Let me clarify, what if he asks you to a work event where you would meet his coworkers on your second date? Is that too much too soon? I’d vote YES! But is it enough to creep you that you no longer want to see this guy? Probably not. If that were me, I would probably say “No thanks” and move on. I wouldn’t give him a second chance. Not because it’s weird, but because it seems a little desperate.

“But what if he’s really nice?” before my ex, the being nice card wouldn’t fly with me. That wouldn’t be enough to give him another chance after asking me to a work function on the second date. However, I think if I were single now I would. So what did she do? She gave him a second chance! And you know what, she likes him and he makes her happy. Kudos to her.

I don’t know where she stands with him, are they “dating” or are they “just friends”, will it go somewhere? I don’t think she even knows yet, but that’s the joy of the single life, the unknown.

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Jealousy

Jealousy:

A secondary emotion which refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values. Often consisting of anger, sadness and disgust. Jealousy has been found to occur in infants five months and older.

“Romantic jealousy is here defined as a complex of thoughts, feelings, and actions which follow threats to self-esteem and/or threats to the existence or quality of the relationship, when those threats are generated by the perception of a real or potential attraction between one’s partner and a (perhaps imaginary) rival.” (White, 1981, p. 24)[

We have all experienced some form of jealousy at one point or another in our lives. And sometimes jealousy is a major issue in relationships. http://www.askmen.com wrote an article about jealousy and outlined varying degrees of it:

Cute jealousy
Jealousy does not necessarily merit its negative connotation; after all, it’s normal for men to be suspicious of their women (and vice versa). Having reservations about her going to a strip bar with friends or not enjoying the sight of her drooling over some guy in a magazine are innocent examples of how some jealousy can be harmless, and a perfectly normal reaction.

Healthy jealousy
Likewise, a man who voices his concern over having his girlfriend go out with a bunch of guys or seeing another man flirting with her is also part of a healthy relationship. Oftentimes, a man is just looking out for his girlfriend’s well-being and women usually respect that. They may even be insulted if you don’t say anything.

Obsessive jealousy
The problem arises when aggression and/or violence accompanies the jealousy. Once you’ve reached this stage, you obsessively begin questioning her loyalty to you, and that sends you into a rage, maybe even causing you to use physical force.

I believe a little jealousy is good for a relationship because it shows you care and that the other person is not worth losing. But when jealousy is taken to another level, outlined in Obsessive jealousy, that’s when it can be a real problem.

So, what do you do to avoid obsessive jealousy? Well, sometimes it’s unavoidable. There are some men/women who are naturally jealous and will never trust anyone. In that case, it’s probably not the relationship you want to be in. However, there are people who have experienced bad relationships in the past and may need a little encouragement about your intentions with them. My best advice is to talk about the things that make you jealous. Set them all out on the table so that in the future your significant other will avoid the situations that make you jealous (they will if they respect you). In most cases, jealousy stems from one’s own lack of self-confidence, but again, this could have something to do with past relationships. If you really love the person, or if the person really loves you, then it is something that can be worked through.

The hardest part about dealing with jealousy, especially when you’re the one experiencing it, is when there are familiar feelings of jealousy. For example, if you are jealous of a friend of your boyfriend/girlfriend that is of the opposite gender, and those feelings remind you of a time when an ex left you for a “friend” of the opposite gender, then of course you’re going to feel like it is all happening again. The best thing to remember is to live in the present. Hopefully you learned from your past relationship and didn’t make the same mistake. It all boils down to trust, and without it a relationship cannot prosper.

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Free Pass

I came across this article today about how you handle having a bad day when your in a relationship. I found his point of view Interesting and it may just work! You need ton ask for a free pass when your having a bad day and your bad day affects another person.

I know that I am very affected by others emotions. If someone around me is unhappy I find it very difficult to not be unhappy. Or if my significant other is having a bad day I end up having one too. So maybe if we gave each other a free pass on the days that we are not ourselves than maybe most of our silly arguments won’t happen.

Unfortunately I don’t think this rule applies to other relationships.

Oh, and the boyfriend comes back tonight, yay!! I miss him a lot. It’s lame because it’s been only 3 days but I see nothing wrong with missing someone.

P.S. I have no idea how to upload an image to my post using an iPad and I had such a cute one for this post.

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The Car Ride…

What happens when you’re stuck in a car with a girl who is PMSing, for over 2 hours because of snow and traffic, and you’re going to be VERY late for work?

I’m sure you’ve all guess it, but a fight happens. And an extremely stupid one for that matter.

People do not know how to drive in the snow after having 2 weeks off with dry roads. So the boyfriend and I were over an hour late for work this morning. But to make matters worse I feel like crap because it’s that time of the month, and I haven’t been able to get to the gym, or any kind of work out for 4 days.

I remember why the fight started, but I can’t even remember what exactly was said/exchanged. The worst part was that we were stuck in a car. I’ve learned over the years that when I get angry I need some time to cool off before I talk about it, otherwise things could blow up. When you’re stuck in a car there is no where else to go to cool off, you can’t just get up and leave or go to another room while you recompose yourself.

The boyfriend likes to talk things out right away, as soon as the argument happens. I’m not like that. I would much rather take some time to myself to think about it, to let myself calm down before I go into talking about what made me angry. There was no way out, I had to sit and listen, which lead to boiling right over.

The boyfriend started to get the idea, he already knows what I’m like in those situations, but I also know what he is like so I normally use the opportunity of a larger space and walk away so I can calm down. In a car I don’t have that luxury. So he finally stopped trying to talk about it, let me sit in silence and we finally made it to work, alive!

So now I look back and I have a clear mind, and I feel bad for the things I said (although I can’t remember all of it), and I know that it didn’t have to turn out that way. So what do you do if you’re in that situation? I obviously can’t walk away, so next time (hopefully there is no next time) how do we avoid it turning into something more than it should have been?

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