Tag Archives: drunk

Post St. Patrick’s Day

I love St. Patrick’s Day.

I used to love it in University because it was an excuse to set my alarm for 9am to start drinking. But as I got older (and hopefully more responsible) 9am drinking is out of the question.

So why do I love it so much?
Well, I pretty much love any occasion where I can wear something that looks ridiculous to the bar. I love that the entire theme is green, including the beer. And I love how everyone is Irish for the day. Not that I am Irish, but it’s nice that for one day everyone is the same “race”. The Irish don’t hate on those who are not actually Irish but celebrating it anyway.

It was the boyfriend and my first St. Patty’s Day celebration. It was fun! We dressed in green all day. After work we headed down to a pub to meet some friends. Lines already out the door, we were lucky it was a nice day (the luck of the Irish, I don’t think I’ve experienced bad weather on St. Patrick’s Day). Once inside there were no tables. We were the first ones there, so I scouted the area to see if there would be a potential of one opening up soon. And that’s when I spotted a table of a much older crowd (much much older). I made my way over to the table in hopes they would leave early. While I was standing around trying not to look like I was waiting for them to leave, one of the older men decided to strike up a conversation with me. First he decided to make fun of me for having a green beer, and that you could never find one of those in Ireland. And that’s when I realized they were all Irish. That’s when I thought that maybe they wouldn’t leave as early as I thought. The Irish know how to drink! But then the oldest lady thought it was a good idea to lift the kilt of a man walking by, they must have been there awhile. That’s when her husband told her to get her coat because it was time to go. SCORE! We got a table.

And the night just got better from there. I started out the evening with a green t-shirt on, and finished it with a “Kiss me I’m Irish” button, clover stickers on my face and chest, a green whistle and a large green hat on my head. Oh and I can’t forget a green tongue. I’m just glad I only had 3 green pints and left the bar by 10pm, who knows if I would have made it to work today otherwise.

I hope everyone else had a great St. Patty’s Day!

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In My Opinion: Couples Vacations

I’ve completed the cleanse, thank god. Although we didn’t make it past Friday. It’s hard to limit what you eat on weekends. It’s not like I pigged out or anything, but I didn’t want to eat just soup all weekend. So rather than finishing the cleanse, I just ate really healthy. I even had a full vegan meal yesterday (not that all vegan food is healthy, but mine was).

Anywho, I’ve decided to do something a little different. Since I have been slacking on the relationship stories/advice/bull, I’ve decided to add a feature called “In my opinion”. The first one I decided to talk about is couples vacations.

A lot of people I know have gone on vacations with their significant other. Some of them go on annual vacations. I, on the other hand, have never been on a vacation (i.e. hopping on a plane and landing somewhere where you can relax, sight see, lay on a beach, speak another language etc…) with a signification other. Why, you ask? Well, my most recent ex never had money so a vacation was out of the question, unless I paid for both of us. And any other guy I dated in the past never lasted long enough to make it to the “couples vacation” stage in our relationship. The one and only time I’ve been to an all-inclusive, at that point in my life, I was completely happy going with a bunch of girls rather than spending the week with a guy I was casually dating and not being able to do all the fun things I did while I was there. Plus, when you travel with someone you find out more about them then you ever thought you would.

I think couples vacations are a good way to get to know someone if you don’t already live together or spend every day together. However, I don’t think going away on a week-long vacation once a year means you know each other well. You can be so different when you’re on vacation. Take The Bachelor for example. Of course they are falling in love, every week they are traveling to an exotic location, doing things like repelling down a waterfall, boat cruises, helicopter rides, dinners on a tiny secluded island. How could they not fall in love?!?! So even though it’s nice to go away with your signficant other, personally I think that couples vacations should wait until you really know the person and are already in love with them. I’m glad I’ve waited to go on vacation with a boyfriend because when I do it will mean that much more.

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Ten Things I’ve learned About Relationships

1. Not all relationships are the same
Just because your friend’s boyfriend spends a ton of money on her as a way of showing he loves her, doesn’t mean all boyfriends will do that. Or just because someone you know moved in with their boyfriend/girlfriend only 3 months into their relationship doesn’t mean you will. Every relationship is different, and that doesn’t mean it’s any better or worse than the next.

2. Love isn’t always enough
When you love someone but you have very different values, doesn’t mean that love will conquer all. Sometimes you need to remove yourself from all the “love” in order to assess the relationship for what it is.

3. Opposites don’t always attract
If you are complete opposites then there is no substance to the relationship. How can you do anything together if you don’t enjoy doing the same things. Having common interests is important, otherwise you’ll be spending most of your time apart enjoying your own things.

4. Relationships DO take some work
If you go into a relationship thinking it’s smooth sailing, then you’re in for a rude awakening. However, if the relationship starts to take up more hours in your day than your actual work, then you should reconsider the relationship. There are things that can’t and won’t work themselves out, and sometimes those require compromising.

5. Your family’s opinion does matter
It’s amazing how different my family (particularly my dad and step mom) treat me and my current boyfriend over my past relationship. I wouldn’t listen to them when they had anything negative to say about my relationship, but now that I am in a good relationship with a great person, their attitudes have done a 180. They see I’m happier, and that makes them happy. So in the future I will trust their judgement. They have been through a lot more than I have!

6. My “ideal” guy is no longer the guy I thought it was
When I was 16 I had this image of what my ideal guy would be. But in the image there was no personality, no interests or hobbies. It was just a guy, with a specific look and style. I’ve dated that guy, and trust me he was nowhere near “ideal”. As I’ve gotten older my tastes have changed. I’m sure if you asked my friends if I have a type, they would say no, just a guy who treats me right (and of course a list of other criteria).

7. The right guy will be there until the end
My boyfriend and I have been through a lot, and from experience most guys won’t stick with you through that stuff. But the right one will.

8. There will always be baggage
Especially if you’ve been in a bad relationship before. We all carry a bit of baggage, but it’s the size of the baggage that can ruin a relationship. Whatever happened in the past should stay in the past and you should go into a relationship open-minded.

9. Even the relationships that look good from the outside are not always good on the inside
I’ve noticed that some people can put on a pretty good show. You go out with a couple and they look so happy and so in love, but behind closed doors they are unhappy. I was once one of those couples. I used to be jealous of the ones that looked incredibly happy, but it can be much easier to put on a facade rather than facing the truth. What may seem like the perfect happy couple could really be a volcano waiting to erupt.

10. There is always something to learn
A “ten things I’ve learned” list will never be enough because there will always be things I am learning about a relationship. Listing ten things I’ve learned is just the beginning.

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Bring it On!

I have this weird “thing” about getting ready with the boyfriend in the same space.

I’m sure most of you are thinking that my weird “thing” is that I need my own space and can’t get ready with the boyfriend in it, and that it’s really not weird at all. Well it’s actually quite the opposite. If he is getting ready and leaves to go to another mirror, it bothers the hell out of me. I have no idea why. But I think what has bothered me even more is that I openly shared this weird “thing” with him and he STILL does it.

I love the scene from Bring it On when Kristen Dunst is in the bathroom with the rebels brother and they are brushing their teeth together. It’s like I want my entire life to be like that scene, minus looking like Kristen and covering my mouth when I spit the toothpaste out, or having that guy next to me… ok maybe I don’t want it to be like that, but something like it. Or maybe just the part where you can be comfortable enough to do all that stuff in front of each other, because I really wouldn’t want to spend my entire life brushing my teeth.

I know it’s strange, and I don’t even understand it, but come on, if I like getting ready with you in the same room then just stay in the room. Unless he has a thing about needing his own space. I guess I never really thought about that.

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Hypocrisy

There are a few things that I can’t stand, but one of the things I hate the most is hypocrisy.

I’m sure we are all guilty of saying one thing and doing another, but when someone is open about how much they hate something, someone, something someone did etc… and turn around and do the same thing, it totally gets under my skin.

I’ve slowly been learning a lot about myself and my relationships, with friends, parents, siblings, boyfriend etc.. and I think I am now at the point where I can predetermine who is good for what in my life. Some friends I can rely on all the time, knowing that no matter what, they will be there for me. They are the ones that will always show up, never cancel, and never judge. I know what I can rely on my parents for, which is a support system in every aspect of my life. I know that if I needed a shoulder to cry on, a helping hand, or just an ear to listen I can go to my mom. I know that if I need something fixed, or a man’s opinion I can go to my dad. If there is something I need to talk about with someone who is currently experiencing what I am going through, especially when it comes to girl stuff, I can go to my sister. And for almost everything else I have my boyfriend.

But then there are some friends who are there sometimes. They say they care, they say they would be there for anything, but then when times get tough they are nowhere to be found. And there are also the ones that you have grown apart from. The ones that used to be there, but now have other priorities. Sometimes friendships grow apart because your priorities change. I know that I am at a very different point in my life than I was three years ago. Some of my friends are still at that point, and some of them have grown waaaay beyond their years.

I like to live life as a 25-year-old. Not 21 or 29, but 25. Why? Because I am 25. I don’t want to spend the weekends at home doing nothing if there is another opportunity presented to me. Nor do I want to go out every weekend and get trashed and wake up not knowing what happened the night before. I want to focus on my career but at the same time have a social life I can look back on and think “Wow, I had a great time.” I want to save money, but continue to do the things I love. Sometimes it really is a matter of choosing to spend that extra $100 or not, but if it’s something I really want to do then it’s worth the $100.

I have a couple really great friends, and I would never change those friendships for the world, but it would always be nice to add a few more.

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The Fourth (and hopefully final) Guy

Like I said, it had taken me a few tries to figure out my own worth. Five long years of relationship after relationship, with barely any me time in between. It was during those five years where I was defined by the person I was with, where my self-worth only matched my worth to the guy I was currently infatuated with. It was a hard five years but I’m glad they happened. I’ve learned so much about who I am today from those five years with four wrong guys and finally being able to make the decision on who is actually right for me.

Don’t get me wrong, there was a fifth, he lasted two years, but he didn’t cheat on me. He cared about me (to his own extent) and he loved me (as much as he could have loved me), but we were so different that we began to resent each other, and that’s where I started this blog. I learned so much from that relationship, what I really want in a man and out of the relationship, but the one thing I already knew going into that one was my self-worth. And it was the fourth guy that really showed me how to begin that adventure of figuring it out.

His name was Chris. The reason I use his real name here is because not many people knew about this guy. He was much older than me (about 10 years) and I had decided not to tell many people about my “relationship”. He was the first older guy that really noticed me. By this point I was so over the younger ones, since all they did was give me grief. So I thought why not try out an older man.

We dated for only 4 months, but I became so consumed by him that everything I did, every decision I made was around him. When we started dating we would go out on Friday or Saturday nights, but as we got to know each other more he wanted to spend week days with me and weekends to himself. I was ok with that. I was used to dating guys who I rarely saw and I had a social life I needed to live up to. But it never occurred to me that it was strange he didn’t want to spend weekends with me. Most of our time spent together was going to the gym and cooking. We cooked a lot together, we would spend hours doing it. He would even give me the key to his apartment so I could go there after class and wait for him to get home from work. It was, what I thought, the perfect relationship.

And then it was Valentine’s day. He didn’t want to see me on Valentine’s day, but was totally willing to go out with me the day before. That tore my heart out. That was the first time I cried with him. He reassured me that he has always hated that day and would really rather not celebrate it. So I gave in and let it be.

One of the days he gave me the key to his place to go and hang out after class I was putting my bag in his bedroom when I noticed a contact case stain on the dresser. Now I wear contacts, but this was a time when the doctor told me not to for at least 6 months so I knew that stain could not have been mine, nor could it have been his since he didn’t wear glasses. I also noticed that the few things I left hanging around were nowhere to be found. But I let it go. Then I went to use the bathroom and I happened to glance over at the garbage in the bathroom and noticed a make up remover pad with makeup all over it… well this I could not let go. He came home and I confronted him, but he claimed that the makeup pad is from his roommate who brought a girl over. Well they had two bathrooms, but I let it go. I let these things go because I was so infatuated with him that the thought of losing him killed me. He was my entire secret world.

Finally he spent a weekend with me. But it was the last time. We decided to spend Saturday skiing. So I stayed over Friday in order to get up early to go skiing Saturday and didn’t get home until late so I spent that night there as well. Friday night was horrible, I ended up sleeping on the couch. Saturday morning he apologized, so our day was not ruined (which is probably why he apologized). I don’t need to go into detail about what happened, but I was pretty depressed all day. When we got back Saturday night we were both exhausted. We decided to just lounge around and relax while watching a movie. I can’t remember exactly what happened, but he went to call my name when instead he called out “Laura”, which by the way is definitely NOT my name. I was horrified. I didn’t even know what to do. I didn’t yell, or cry, I just went about the rest of the evening silently, and he didn’t even notice.

Later that week I got an email from him telling me it was not working out.

We tried to be friends, well I did. He still brought me to a mutual friends wedding a few weeks later. But it was at the wedding when he told me that I was not the only one he was with during that time. I’m assuming one of them was named Laura.

It was after the wedding that I realized that I deserved so much more than that. I deserve a guy who will put me as their number one, as their first priority. It was then that I realized that I could not just settle for the first guy who even showed a bit of interest in me, that I had to get to know them first and know that they will treat me right before jumping heart first. I deserved a man who would love me, and only me. And most importantly, I deserved to be happy.

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One more day…

My feelings may be really silly and unnecessary, but I am getting a sick feeling in my stomach about my birthday. If you read my Birthday Wish post then you would know that I have had some bad experiences with my birthday. I am not looking for sympathy, but just a place to express how I am feeling on the day before the (big?) event.

I’ve been sick the last couple of days, which really hasn’t helped the situation. But yesterday I was so overwhelmed with everything. I wasn’t feeling good, I didn’t sleep the night before, work is super busy and the place I chose to go for my birthday ended up being a strictly 25 plus bar and some of my friends are not 25 yet. So I had to decide where to go, again. I had a few options but I kept getting more and more confused when people were throwing ideas at me. Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for the help from my friends, but I wasn’t feeling the best and it was so overwhelming that I almost cancelled my birthday.

I still have this feeling in the pit of my stomach that makes me cringe when I look at the date on my calendar. I don’t know if it will ever go away. My boyfriend has been amazing. He has been understanding about my feelings over my birthday. He even let me cry it out last night in the car in the gas station parking lot on our way to buy me a new outfit. I really couldn’t have asked for a more understanding guy to give me his shoulder to cry on. It wasn’t even worth crying over, but then again I am a girl!!

I should be grateful for having friends, even if it were just a few, who are going to help me celebrate. I should be thinking positively about it, but it’s hard.

What a sob story!! 😉

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