Tag Archives: job

I wish I was sleeping

So I have no brain cells since I am exhausted these days. I wish that I could come up a post about relationships but I really have nothing left in me right now. And this is the first time I have had a chance to get on a computer/iPad.

So, what have I been up to? Well, I started my new job on Monday and so far I love it! It’s everything I’ve been looking for in a job. I am incredibly happy everyday, but like I said I’m so tired at the end of the day.

I’ve had something to do every night this week which has caused me to have to change my clothes at my new office every night. I’ve had two baseball games and two bootcamp sessions.

But other than my new and exciting job, I am sooooooo pumped about my upcoming trip. Next week the boyfriend and I are headed to Hawaii. I will have to update you all on my trip when I get back. It is there where we will be running the half marathon.

My training for the half marathon has kind of gone down hill, but I need to stay positive that I am able to finish the run. I’ll be sure to update you on that as well.

My car is doing amazing, in case anyone was wondering.

Now I must return to watching bachelor pad on PVR and then immediately hit the sack. I apologize if this post doesn’t make any sense. I know I’m rambling, but I promise something better soon.

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Chapter 1: My first real job – comes to an end

I bought a car this weekend!!

That's my baby

I’m so excited. It’s my very first BRAND NEW car. I’ve had a car before, but it was old and didn’t have that new car smell. It took two full days out of my four-day weekend, but I got it done and I will have a car for my first day at my new job.

New car, new job, new beginnings.

I got really sad today. The boyfriend sent me a meeting invite for my last day at work lunch. It made me sad because it’s the end of this chapter in my life. A chapter I am very happy to be closing, but one that I will never forget. It was here (at the office) where I met the boyfriend, where we became friends and eventually a little more. It was here where I realized that I was not happy in my previous relationship and that I had a true friend who lent me his shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen. It was here, one day after work while we were sitting in a park, where he told me he loved me.

I never expected when I started here that I would meet the love of my life. But since it happened, I never pictured our life apart. My moving on to another job does not mean our life is any less together; we just don’t get to share our lunch bags anymore, or go on our coffee breaks together. And no matter how much I will miss seeing his face all day long; this change will be good for us.

I’m looking forward to being excited to see him at the end of the day. I can’t wait to have so much to talk about because we didn’t get to talk about it at lunch or on our break. It will also be nice to be 100% open about our relationship. Not that it isn’t obvious, but I’ve felt uncomfortable discussing it at work. I’m excited that we will have two Christmas parties to attend. It’s almost like to have to convince myself that I’m excited to be away from the boyfriend when we all know that it’s impossible to get excited about something like that.

It will be a big change. I will be sad and I’m sure he will be sad.

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A Bucket List for Schmucks

I’ve recently been inspired by a fellow blogger over at The Next Moment to write a list of things I want to do in my life, also known as a bucket list. However, these are things I would like to complete before I’m 30 and in no particular order (I will add to the list if/when I get inspired):

  1. Sky dive (this may not happen, but I’m going to put it up here)
  2. Run a half Marathon
  3. Run a full marathon
  4. Travel to Greece
  5. Travel to Paris
  6. Attend a cooking class
  7. Become a fitness instructor
  8. Look (and feel) amazing in a bikini
  9. Find a job I love
  10. Buy a house
  11. Own a real diamond (in any format, preferably in the engagement ring format)
  12. Go an entire day without being negative
  13. Make a new friend (a good one!)
  14. Let go of expired friendships
  15. Buy a real pair of sunglasses (not the $20 ones)
  16. Go to the airport and hop on the next plane (without planning beforehand)
  17. Buy a really expensive pair of shoes just because I want them and not because I need them
  18. Teach somebody something new
  19. Volunteer for Habitat for Humanity
  20. Keep my hair blonde
  21. Buy a coffee for someone in line behind me at Tim Hortons (The boyfriend already did this when he was supposed to do it with me there)
  22. Do something really nice for someone unexpectedly
  23. Read more (I know this is vague, but I can’t chose how much I want to read since I used to read ALL the time and recently I don’t read at all)
  24. Go to a strip club
  25. Throw myself the BEST 30th Birthday party ever!

What’s the number one thing you want to do in your life?

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It’s Only the Beginning

I think I’ve reached my boiling point and it’s time for a change.

Part of the reason I have been hesitant to start looking for a new path in my career is because I feel bad for leaving a company that has provided me with some really great experiences. If it wasn’t for this place, I wouldn’t have started my path in the right direction as early as I did. I really lucked out with this job.

I was fresh out of school, no job and no connections. I began my search for a full-time position online but saw no response. I had multiple interviews, but I had nothing, other than my education, to back me up. One of my friends had experienced the same problem and decided to go through a temp agency. I was hesitant because I heard only horror stories of temp agencies, but she assured me that it’s nothing like the stories I’ve heard. I tried it out and within a week I had interviews lined up.

Since I’m part of the generation that believes I don’t need to start at the bottom and work my way up, I can get a manager position right out of school, I was turning down some great opportunities with high-profile companies because I didn’t feel like the position was up to my standards. I had a reality check when I realized I was running out of the little money I had saved, a car I needed to pay for and my student loans creeping up on me. I took the next job after that. Which landed me here.

It was actually a pretty bad job. I started as a telemarketer. I did it for four months in order to pay for all my new bills (while looking for something in my field of study), until a position in another department opened up and I knew this was my opportunity. I got the job after a month of training, interviewing and proving I could do it without any experience. I was extremely thankful and worked my butt off to prove they made the right decision.

Jump ahead about a year when my manager leaves. Some background on the company, your only chance for a promotion is if someone leaves. I knew that my being here for only a year wasn’t long enough to grant a promotion, but I hoped that it meant some kind of growth opportunity for me. I had many talks with the senior management about my progression and that I would love to take on more responsibility. Initially, he was excited. I stepped up and took over the position for two months while they searched for a replacement. I was promised so many great things… that was until my new manager started.

Every promise that was made has slowly been revoked. I’ve lost more responsibility than I had even before my old manager was here. Although, I seem to be busier than ever. This could have something to do with the fact that the new manager doesn’t really know what she is doing and I not only have to do my own day-to-day work, but hers as well, without getting any credit for it. Every day I am presented with more and more frustration and I make a point to handle it all with a smile on my face. But this is all causing some serious stress when I get home. From 9-5 no one would ever know something was bother me (other than my friends who I talk to about it), but when I leave here I feel like a ton of bricks just fall on my head and shoulders and I want to crawl in a hole forever.

I would also feel terrible for leaving because so many people have left in the last year. I can see what kind of stress this is causing senior management. I don’t want to be part of that stress.

But another reason I get nervous when I think about looking for another job: my boyfriend works with me. We met here, we started our relationship here and I have no idea what I would do without him. We drive into work together, eat lunch together, and play on the work softball team together… I just can’t imagine being at work and knowing that he isn’t close by. I know that the day will come when we no longer work together and I believe that it would be a good thing for the relationship, but it’s scary taking that first step away from it all. It’s what I imagine a mother would feel like when her child starts daycare after spending every day together on her maternity leave.  

It would be a major change, but I think it would be worth it. I’m not as happy as I could be, and in turn I feel I am not giving my relationships (with the boyfriend, friends and family) all I can give.

But where do I start?

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Three Things

The boyfriend and I had our first date night in a long time this weekend. It was nice! We were both so exhausted from the week that we decided to take it easy and have a relaxing weekend. While at dinner, the boyfriend asked me “If you could only do three things for the rest of your life, what would you do?” That was a tough one, but the three things I chose were:

1. Reading
If I could read every day for the rest of my life I would be happy. I love to read. unfortunately I haven’t been reading as much lately, but I am determined to get back into it. It took me 4 months to finish Eat, Pray, Love which is an unusual length of time. Normally I would rather read than watch TV, but life has taken over and I don’t seem to have much time for either.

2. Blog/Write
I love blogging. I am so happy I started. But not only do I love blogging, I love writing. I used to write short “poems” all the time. I stopped, but I sure do miss it. I also love reading blogs (this brings me back to number 1). A few of my favs: Cocktails at Tiffany’s, SimplySolo, Pink Giggles, Danielle’s Dish and most recently Inside the Nice Guy (these are just a few of my daily reads). I would blog every day if I had enough to talk about, and if people cared enough to read it.

3. Workout
Yes, workout *gasp* (for those who know me, this might come as a surprise). But this is a new found love of mine. I don’t know what changed, but I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE to work out. I love how I feel after and I regret it when I don’t. If I had more time in the day I would workout more than just a measly one hour. But with work and sleep and other priorities that come up sometimes that’s all the time I have to dedicate to a workout.

Last week I talked about feeling undervalued, and this question the boyfriend asked got me thinking. No where in those three did I mention my job. I’m afraid that I made the wrong career choice. If I can’t love what I do, how can I expect to do it for the next 40 years? And, I’m not even sure I’m good at what I do. Sure I did well in school, but that’s because I was more concerned about the marks I was getting than the actual work I was doing. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t HATE what I do. I enjoy it about 60% of the time.

Well, this got me thinking. Maybe I could incorporate the three things I would do for the rest of my life into my life. Not as a replacement for my job, since I can’t imagine any of those three things paying enough to live, but as an extension. My new goal for 2011 is:

take a fitness instructor course

Yep! I’m going to take the course before the end of the year. Once I take that course, I will then be able to incorporate reading (I will read about fitness instructing and eating healthy), blogging (I will post at least one blog a week on fitness and eating healthy) and I will workout more so I can learn more about it.

Who knows where the course will take me. Ideally I would become a fitness instructor at least once a week in the evenings/weekends and that way I get to do the things I love, plus do my day time job. I think it’s a win-win situation!!

Wish me luck!

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“…Saturday comes afterwards”

I’ve been feeling extremely undervalued lately and this feeling has caused some serious lack in motivation.

Just to clear things up, I’m not talking about my relationship with the boyfriend. I feel extremely valued in that department. But I’m referring to my job. I’ve been finding it extremely difficult to wake up in the morning and drag my tired bum to work. There just seem to be so many things going on where I feel like if I wasn’t here no one would even notice.

My manager left just over a month ago now, and I was really sad because she was an awesome manager, but at the same time a few light bulbs went off and I thought “SCORE! This is THE opportunity that I need to show myself to the company, that I can do more, that I have more potential, and maybe work my way into a promotion”…Well that definitely has not happened yet.

The other thing is that I thought I would be part of the recruitment process. That I would be able to meet some potential managers and that I would have a small say in what I thought about the person… Well that has not happened either. I walk by meeting rooms and see that there are interviews going on, 1st, 2nd and 3rd interviews and I still haven’t met any of the potential candidates. My biggest fear about getting a new manager is, what if we don’t get a long? So this brings me to the idea that it doesn’t matter if I don’t get a long with the new manager, because I’m expendable.

AND… the department has decided to do things a little differently this year and break the work up into 7 tasks. Everyone is assigned to at least 2, but generally 3 or 4 tasks and I’m assigned to 1. And the 1 that I am assigned to doesn’t even involve the VP, where as the other 6 do. Hmmm… Guess they stuck me on the one that no one even cares about anyway.

I’ve been here for just over a year. I understand that you have to prove that you’re capable of doing the work and holding your own, but I thought that with my manager leaving that was my perfect opportunity. Instead, I feel like I have been given even less responsibility.

On another note, it’s Friday!!

Tomorrow is day 2 of bootcamp and I am really looking forward to this for the next 10 weeks! Although, in 2 weeks I have to start training for the half marathon. I’m going to be so fit!!

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In One Year

It really is amazing at how fast things change. My life is completely different from what it was a year ago.

A year ago I was unemployed, searching for my big break. I was going to interview after interview. My hopes were slowly being diminished with every failed interview I had. I was worried about christmas and how I was going to be able to buy anyone a gift. I still had my promotion job, but it wasn’t enough. My savings were decreasing daily.
I was practically living at my exes house, since he didn’t work during the week, and going home to my parents on the weekends. All we did was get up super late, sit around, work out, eat and go back to sleep. It was depressing. I was unhappy. I felt like my life wasn’t going anywhere.

A year later I have a pretty decent entry-level job in the field I want to be in, I’m living on my own (well with a roommate), I have a new boyfriend who I am completely in love with and who my family really likes, and a life that feels so right! And all of this happened in just a year. Who knows where my life will take me in another year 😉

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