Tag Archives: life

I miss this

I really do! I’ve barely had time to breathe though.

I’ve been so busy getting my personal trainers certificate, I’ve started teaching bootcamp and I’ve been spending every free moment at the gym.

I think about blogging, but then I can’t think about anything to say and I get frustrated and put it aside.

Part of the problem is there is nothing new in the relationship to talk about. We are both so busy we rarely spend a whole lot of time together. And when weekends approach we try not to make any plans so we can spend it together, but that never happens.

We hit a bit of a rough patch but we are working through it. I think it had to do with the fact that we haven’t had much time together, and I wouldn’t count the hour before bed, frantically running around the house getting ourselves organised for the next day, as “quality time”. It’s been tough. But we’ve been more open about our feelings and increased our communication so we don’t end up resenting each other because of it all.

It also doesn’t help that we are both conflicted with our careers. I’m so confused, and worried that I’ve chosen a path I’m not happy with. I don’t feel satisfied with my choice and I’m scared I’m getting too old to start something new. That and I would looooove to start my own business but financially it may not be possible. All this scares me. The boyfriend just isn’t happy and needs to figure out a solution to his discontent. He travels so far for work and it takes up so much of his “free” time, I would be frustrate too!! But he just doesn’t know what to do. We are both in a little bit of a funk.

And I miss reading all my favourite blogs as well 😦

Ohh to have time…

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Regrets

We all have them. We have some that we would do anything to go back and change, and some that we kind of regret, but know that if we could go back and change it, we wouldn’t. Why? Well because some of those regrets led to some of the most amazing things in our lives.

Like, I sort of regret going to the University I went to. But image if I didn’t go there? How completely different my life would have turned out. I wouldn’t have met the people I did, I probably wouldn’t have gotten the jobs I did, or met my boyfriend.

I have smaller regrets, like spending money on something I probably shouldn’t have. And these are the types of things that, if never happened, my life would probably still be pretty much the same.

Last night, after watching an episode of Being Erica, which, thanks to Netflix, has become my new fav show and is all about going back and fixing her regrets, the boyfriend and I talked about some of the regrets we have.

Ok, it was more like he talked about the regrets he had and I just got silly. I find it really hard to talk about really serious stuff, so when he asked me what my regrets were, my response was “eating that bowl of ice cream tonight after dinner”… I know…

But it had me thinking about all my regrets. One in particular is I wish I had spent more time with my grandmother. She had a sudden death, and every moment I could have spent with her vanished. She was always there when we were growing up. She lived with us for a period of time. And then we grew up and we didn’t need a babysitter anymore, so we rarely saw our grandmother. I regret it terribly. I miss her everyday and I always think “if only I stopped being so selfish and spent a little more time with her”.

And this brought me to regret the little time I spend with my family. We don’t see each other enough. Part of the problem is I live on the other side of the city (which I do not regret, but it sucks that we all live in different areas of the city).

The one thing I regret most is how I’ve let what other people think dictate the way I’ve made decisions, acted, and just overall become the person I am today. I’m constantly worried about what other people think. And this has been my biggest regret.

But these regrets are in the past, and since we can’t change the past, it’s the future we will have to work towards changing. So I’ve decided that I am going to work on what I regret with my past to ensure that they don’t affect my future.

Regret #1: Don’t let what other people thing dictate who I am.

Let’s see how well I can do with that. Tonight will be my first test since tonight is the first time I’m teaching a bootcamp class. And if I can just let myself go and not worry about feeling embarrassed, then I know I’m heading in the right direction.

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I passed!!

I had my personal trainers exam Saturday morning. I was terrified, but I passed!!! And with flying colors!

Maybe I took the wrong path in university, who would have thought I would love and totally understand the body!! I’m not saying I know everything now, but I loved every minute of studying it and it wasn’t a matter of memorizing because I understood the concepts which made it easier to remember and apply everything.

I’m not certified yet, I still have two more things to complete but I think the hardest part is over!!

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My first iPost

I’ve converted over from the blackberry world, into the apple world. And this is my first post written strictly on my iPhone.

What will this post be about? Well nothing, because, frankly, my life’s been pretty boring lately.

Remember how I mentioned back in another post (which I would link if I knew how) that I wanted to take a fitness instructor course? Well, this past weekend I did the next best thing, a personal trainers course. Now all I have to do is pass the exam and I’ll be a certified personal trainer! Wooohoo!

What’s my plan now that I have this certificate? Not much, not yet. I’ll be able to help myself out more, hopefully help out friends and family, but that’s it for now.

I love fitness so much (hence my entire post on how much I love it) I just want to be really good at it and help others.

But other than that course, I’ve done nothing else. The boyfriend and I are just working on piecing together our place and adding the little touches that make it a home. Pictures to come, I’ve finally pulled my camera out of its hiding place and snapped a couple photos.

And how is living together? So far so good! We really do work well together and balance each other out.

Was my iPhone post successful? I guess as successful as it could be since I’m still learning how to use it.

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I’m in love!!

I’m completely and utterly in love with fitness. So lame, right? But hear me out. It has nothing to do with it being a new year, new resolutions blah blah blah… I’m not one of those people (anymore) that make a new year’s resolution to lose 10lbs, 20lbs and work out hardcore for the first month or two and give up when I realize it’s too hard. No, that’s the old me, the me that made those resolutions years ago.

Last year I made a new year’s resolution to run a half  marathon, and guess what? I did! The resolution came from the fact that I started running before new year’s eve. It wasn’t long before. I remember I got on the scale in mid December and almost cried.

In my first year of university, I put on the freshman 15, however, my 15 ended up being 25lbs. And when I started to lose that weight in my second year, I promised myself I would never get back to the weight that I was (unless I was pregnant). When I got on the scale in December of 2010 I was over the weight I promised myself I would never reach. So what did I do? I started running, like the next day.

In the spring of 2011 I joined a bootcamp, which really helped with my training for a half marathon. I signed up for a half marathon in August and by the time it rolled around, I was 15lbs lighter. Yes, I was trying to lose weight, but it wasn’t my usual goal tactics. I set a fitness goal to run the half marathon and because I had that goal, it made it easier to lose the weight.

Since the half marathon, I’ve continued to lose weight (although I’ve put a little holiday weight on) and I am now 20lbs lighter than I was a year ago.

I am in love with fitness. Look what it does!

Of course, if you want to lose weight, you have to change everything about your habits. You not only have to start working out, but you also have to eat healthier. I made those changes. But that’s just part of fitness. I like to splurge on greasy, fattening foods. Sometimes I like to go to a Chinese buffets twice in one week (ok, ok, not often, I just did it once last week and I felt horribly guilty about it). But if you don’t have that piece of cake, or chocolate, or an extra spoon of pasta, then you will start to resent your chosen healthy lifestyle and most likely give up on it.

I’ve learned to control what I put in my body by balancing out how much I work out versus what I’ve had to eat. I also have to look at what eating too much, or unhealthy will do to my goal of running a marathon. How will I ever be able to run that long if I stuff myself with hamburgers on a weekly basis?

I pretty much eat the same thing every single day for breakfast and lunch. I’ll have Ezekiel bread with margarine and homemade jam with a coffee and only a little bit of cream for breakfast and a salad for lunch. The salad is usually the same, various vegetables with a little bit of feta cheese and light Greek dressing. Sometimes I will add quinoa or chickpeas or tuna. But rarely do I eat anything else. To keep variety in my day, I’ll eat something different for dinner. However, now that we are living on our own, I have to come up with healthy, easy, fast, dinner options. This is going to be the biggest challenge. But I have a new goal, and I am fairly confident that because I have set a new fitness goal I will be able to keep to it.

I am going to be running 30k in March. I’ll let you know how it goes and if fitness and I are still having an affair.

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We’ve Moved!!!…. Almost.

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year… and merry/happy anything else I may have missed.

The boyfriend and I finally live in our own home. Ok, that’s a lie, we don’t live there just yet, but will be living there full time in less than 48 hours. We’ve had ownership over the house for a little over a month now, but have been taking advantage of the fact that we don’t have to move out of his parents house right away and painting/doing any other minor renovations. And we are DONE!Image

Every time I went there I forgot my camera, so instead I took a couple photos with my phone to capture the “before”, however, just recently I dropped my phone into the toilet. Everything works, except my camera and my picture/video albums. So I have no before photos.

Buying a house together has definitely been a learning experience. One thing I learned about the boyfriend is that he needs to write things down and make lists in order to get things done. For example, he has to sit down with a spread sheet and go over every expense/savings in order to determine how much he has left over at the end of the month. I handle these things a little bit differently. I like to pay for what needs to be paid for and whatever is left over I either put some into savings or spend. Simple. Easy. And no complicated spread sheets required. Part of my mentality comes from the fact that I have lived on my own before and have had bills to pay since I was old enough to open my own bank account.

The other thing he needs to do is compose lists after lists to organize himself. He has to do lists daily and when it came to getting ourselves organized to move into our house he created so many lists I lost track of it all. The lists were made up of all the things we needed to buy to paint, things we needs to paint, things we had, things we needed, things we knew we were getting for Christmas etc… ok maybe I’m exaggerating, but he made a lot of lists. I like to just go with it.

In a way I guess you would say we complement each other. He keeps things a little more organized than I do, and I try not to let us worry too much about the little things.

However, I have never been so stressed out in my entire life. We have been on the go since we first got possession of the house and we haven’t stopped. This is in no way an exaggeration. If we weren’t at our 9-5’s we were either at our house painting until 11pm or we were out buying things for our house. And to top it all off it was Christmas, so we were also doing our Christmas shopping when time allowed us. And after all that, I was determined to not let our activity level fall off the chart, so we went to bootcamp twice a week and ran at least once (which to me wasn’t enough, and thus added to my already high stress level).

As we head into our new lives together, I couldn’t be more happier. Someone at work said to me the other day that I looked so happy. I think part of it is because we are finally done all the heckticness of painting, but also because this is the beginning of the rest of our lives (together I hope!).

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I’m a Homeowner!

It seems I have started a trend on my blog. It’s how I start writing these days…”It’s been so long…” “I’m such a bad blogger…” “I promise I’ll blog more…” But all these promises are open promises and all my feelings of regret only last a couple of minutes. I’ve been busy, and this is not a lie.

I swear I haven’t had a minute to stop and write, let alone think of writing. Every once in a while I come back and catch up on some of my favourite blogs, but by the time I’ve caught up on their lives it’s time for bed.

I miss blogging, but only when I’ve had the time to actually think about it.

If you follow me on twitter (which I have also been slacking on), you may already know that the boyfriend and I bought a house. It closed on Monday. So we are officially home owners now! We don’t live there yet. We’ve decided to take our time, paint, furnish etc… and plan to be completely moved in by January.

The week leading up to our house closing was the most insane week in my entire life! The weekend before I had a trade show event I had to attend all weekend. By the time I got home on Sunday night  was so exhausted I passed out. On Monday morning I had my usual doctor’s appointment, which meant I had to stay later at work. Tuesday was the only day I could meet with the lawyer to close our house, so that also meant I had to stay at work later. Wednesday was the only full day I had to prepare for another tradeshow that was the coming weekend. That night the boyfriend and I went to visit his grandmother, who was very very sick (and unfortunately passed away this past weekend), and Thursday was the first day of the largest tradeshow of my career here. The tradeshow went all weekend and ended each day at 10pm. I was (and still am) exhausted. Monday we closed our house and got the keys.

My plan was to take the day off, but with being away at a tradeshow for two weekends in a row I had a ton of work to catch up on, so I came into the office for a couple of hours. Since I work close to the lawyer’s office, it was my duty to pick up the keys. I got the phone call at 3:30pm. I was so excited!!

 

So, five days later and I still haven’t caught up on sleep. We’ve been to our house twice this week and we’ve brought over toilet paper and a newspaper box… that’s pretty much all we’ve had time for. We were planning on starting our mini renovations this weekend, but with the passing of his grandmother that has been put on the back burner. Thank goodness we have family, like my father and his uncle, who love and are good at these types of mini renovations.

I promise I will put up before and after pictures. I just need to remember to take my camera with me when I go next time, otherwise there will be no before pictures to see.

But what’s new in the relationship, you ask? Well, not much. We’ve been learning to live together for the past 7 months, but it will never be the same as actually living together. I can’t believe it’s been 7 months since I moved out of my apartment in the city… Recently I’ve been trying to do a little more on my own. I love doing everything with the boyfriend, but I really do think it is important to spend a little time apart. I think it will become easier to do our own thing once we have our own place. I will be able to invite friends over, which will be so nice! I haven’t done that in such a long time.

I’m really looking forward to having our own lives, together.

Not working together has really changed our relationship. I feel like we are “normal” now. And we have more to talk about, even though I’m fairly certain he doesn’t really care about my workplace drama. I guess it’s hard to care when you don’t know the people. I have to beg him to tell me all about his workplace drama, otherwise he would never tell me willingly. It’s different because I know all the people he works with.

Oh, did I mention there is a bet on how long it will take me to get a cat. I’m going with 5 months. The boyfriend’s mom thinks it will be 3 months, max. I’m in love with their cats and when I’m away from the house for more than I day, I miss them like crazy. But these cats are not just your typical cat, they’re like dogs. They cry for your attention, they talk back to you (meow back?!?!) and they cuddle. I need a cat exactly like that! The best part about these cats, they’re like dogs but don’t require the work a dog requires, which is why I want one. I love dogs, but I don’t think I’m ready for their constant need of attention, walking, feeding etc… It’s too much work and it limits what you do. One day we’ll get a dog, but for now, I just want a doglike cat.

 

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