Tag Archives: men

Never Foget Your Cell Phone!

I forgot my cell phone at home yesterday. Who knew how much I could miss in only a couple of hours? I’m addicted to my phone, it’s pretty much attached to my hand. I’m not necessarily texting all the time, but rather reading tweets, checking out what’s new on facebook, and reading bbm status updates as they come.

I got home yesterday after what felt like the longest day of my life! But that’s a whole other story. It was around 8pm while doing the dishes when I realized I still had not checked my phone. So I run upstairs with the dishtowel in my hand and grab my phone. 3 bbm messages, 26 emails and 11 facebook messages later I finally felt caught up. Well, that was until I got around to catching up on the million bbm updates and actually looking at the what’s new wall on facebook when I saw it, one of my high school friends got engaged yesterday.

It’s not like she is the first person from my high school to get engaged, or married or has kids, but she is the first one of my actual friends to get engaged. My roommate from university got engaged, but we stopped talking a few years ago. So this friend is the very first friend, who I still talk to, that is engaged. I’m not saying this means anything, or that I’m even invited (we’ll have to wait and see) but it’s given me this feeling all day that I can’t explain.

Part of this feeling is realizing that I’ve kind of grown up; we’ve kind of grown up. I mean, I’ve always known I’ve “grown up”. I have a grown up job, I’ve moved out of my parents (but kind of moved back), I’ve bought a car (but sold it), I’ve been saving to buy a house etc… but having one of my close friends from high school get engaged is completely different. That’s like REAL LIFE! Marriage is real, more real than living on my own or buying my own car or having a real job. It’s combining two lives into one, for life (at least that’s what we hope for when we make those promises at the altar). And generally kids come after marriage, and if that isn’t real then I don’t know what is.

The other part of this feeling is a bit of sadness.

I’ve always wondered what it would be like when my friends started getting married. I always questioned who would be first.

I have a small group of friends from high school that I still talk with, and an even smaller group from elementary school. I even remember having the “who do you think will get married first” conversation with these friends. We all guessed I would be last, which I still think is most likely the case. But we could never decide on who we thought would take the plunge first.

Over the years our group of friends has changed, people have grown apart and some have moved on. But I’ve always tried to keep in contact with everyone and stay in the middle (or out of the middle in some instances). There was a time when this friend (who just got engaged) and I were best friends; well there were actually three of us. We did everything together! But I was always the one who lived further away and it was harder for me to be around all the time, so naturally the other two were much closer. As we got older we changed (as anyone would) and we started to grow apart. And even though our friendships have changed and are not what they used to be, I’ve still thought about who would be the first to get engaged/married.

When it happened, it made me a little sad. I thought about all the things the three of us talked about, how we would all be in each other’s weddings, and who would be the maid of honour, and how we would decide that when the time came. Maybe those dreams about our perfect weddings with our best friends were silly, but they are the memories that bring a smile to your face when you think back on them.

I’m so happy for my friend and I only wish her and her husband-to-be a life time of happiness and love.

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Date Day

Lately my weekends have been feeling strangely long, but I’m not going to complain because it’s like I get a long weekend every weekend! This upcoming weekend is going to feel super long since I get Friday and Monday off. I can’t wait, I haven’t taken any vacation this year and I live for the long weekends.

This past weekend was really great. My dad and stepmom asked me awhile ago if I could take my younger brother to his baseball practice on Friday night and Saturday morning since they were both going away that weekend. I agreed. I figured they have done so much for me I may as well show my appreciation and do as they ask. It turned out to be pretty fun.

My dad and my step mother met when I was 8 years old and they had my brother when I was 12. So there is a pretty big gap in our age. When he was a baby I wanted to spend every single day with him; but as he got older, he slowly became the annoying little brother. When I moved out of my parent’s house last year, I found myself missing him. I always thought that we had lost the connection I had with him when he was little, but we are siblings and no matter what he will always be my little brother. However, in the last year he’s turned into my extremely tall little brother. I’m a pretty average person, in every way. I have the most average sized feet, the most average waist size and the most average height. I’m 5’5. In the last year my 13 year old brother has gone from shorter than my average height to probably over 6 feet tall. He’s taller than the boyfriend (haha). He’s also taller than my dad. Every time I see him he’s taller than the last time.

Anyway, it was nice to spend some quality time with him. We haven’t had a lot of opportunities to do that. His baseball practice was cancelled on Friday night because of all the rain we had, so we ended up going to watch the boyfriend play baseball. There was a really creepy man (probably on drugs or something) who decided to serenade everyone at the field. He was a terrible guitar player and an even worse singer. After no one paid any attention to him, he decided that his mother was calling him home for dinner. So weird.

Saturday we had to get up super early to drive my brother to his baseball practice. The boyfriend and I were planning on running after we dropped him off, but it was still raining, so instead we went back home and napped. I haven’t napped in so long, it was so refreshing. After my brothers practice we dropped him off at a friend’s house in the city and the boyfriend decided to take me out on a day date.

Now I don’t know if it’s because he read my post or if he just happened to think about taking me out on a date on a whim. But either way, I was really excited.  We headed over to the Distillery District because this weekend was the Toronto Jazz festival, and there was one band playing there (if you’re not from Toronto, the Distillery District is this “village” in the city that is all brick and lined with restored industrial buildings and it has one of my favourite breweries, Mill St.).

Our first stop was a coffee shop. The weirdest thing happened, as soon as I walked in (I have never been to this coffee shop before in my entire life) I instantly recognized the place from a dream I had not too long ago. The dream was f’d, but it took place in this coffee shop. Maybe I’ve seen a picture of it before, but I know for a fact that I had never been there, so it was really trippy having the sense of deja vu. Oh, and there was a guy wearing Toms, I didn’t even know they were available for men. Guess what the boyfriends getting for his birthday?!?! Haha… It’s for a good cause!!

We walked around the Distillery District and went into the different shops until we finished our coffee, and then we headed to the Mill St. brewery where we both had a pint. I had my favourite beer, Mill St. Organic, and he tried something new, Mill St. Wit, which is a wheat beer and comes with a slice of orange. It was good, but nothing beats Blue Moon. That is my absolute favourite wheat beer.

After our beer, we made our way out of the district and over to Gretzksy’s (yes, like the hockey player, he has a restaurant in Toronto) where we met one of our couple friends for dinner and watched a comedy show at Second City. It was a perfect date day!  

Yesterday I ran 14.7K for the first time! I also bought these sexy new shoes that encourage barefoot running. My body hated me right after this run and my calves are punishing me today for running in new shoes. It was worth it! A year ago I could barely run 5K and now I can run more than twice that. I’m very proud of myself 🙂

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It’s Only the Beginning

I think I’ve reached my boiling point and it’s time for a change.

Part of the reason I have been hesitant to start looking for a new path in my career is because I feel bad for leaving a company that has provided me with some really great experiences. If it wasn’t for this place, I wouldn’t have started my path in the right direction as early as I did. I really lucked out with this job.

I was fresh out of school, no job and no connections. I began my search for a full-time position online but saw no response. I had multiple interviews, but I had nothing, other than my education, to back me up. One of my friends had experienced the same problem and decided to go through a temp agency. I was hesitant because I heard only horror stories of temp agencies, but she assured me that it’s nothing like the stories I’ve heard. I tried it out and within a week I had interviews lined up.

Since I’m part of the generation that believes I don’t need to start at the bottom and work my way up, I can get a manager position right out of school, I was turning down some great opportunities with high-profile companies because I didn’t feel like the position was up to my standards. I had a reality check when I realized I was running out of the little money I had saved, a car I needed to pay for and my student loans creeping up on me. I took the next job after that. Which landed me here.

It was actually a pretty bad job. I started as a telemarketer. I did it for four months in order to pay for all my new bills (while looking for something in my field of study), until a position in another department opened up and I knew this was my opportunity. I got the job after a month of training, interviewing and proving I could do it without any experience. I was extremely thankful and worked my butt off to prove they made the right decision.

Jump ahead about a year when my manager leaves. Some background on the company, your only chance for a promotion is if someone leaves. I knew that my being here for only a year wasn’t long enough to grant a promotion, but I hoped that it meant some kind of growth opportunity for me. I had many talks with the senior management about my progression and that I would love to take on more responsibility. Initially, he was excited. I stepped up and took over the position for two months while they searched for a replacement. I was promised so many great things… that was until my new manager started.

Every promise that was made has slowly been revoked. I’ve lost more responsibility than I had even before my old manager was here. Although, I seem to be busier than ever. This could have something to do with the fact that the new manager doesn’t really know what she is doing and I not only have to do my own day-to-day work, but hers as well, without getting any credit for it. Every day I am presented with more and more frustration and I make a point to handle it all with a smile on my face. But this is all causing some serious stress when I get home. From 9-5 no one would ever know something was bother me (other than my friends who I talk to about it), but when I leave here I feel like a ton of bricks just fall on my head and shoulders and I want to crawl in a hole forever.

I would also feel terrible for leaving because so many people have left in the last year. I can see what kind of stress this is causing senior management. I don’t want to be part of that stress.

But another reason I get nervous when I think about looking for another job: my boyfriend works with me. We met here, we started our relationship here and I have no idea what I would do without him. We drive into work together, eat lunch together, and play on the work softball team together… I just can’t imagine being at work and knowing that he isn’t close by. I know that the day will come when we no longer work together and I believe that it would be a good thing for the relationship, but it’s scary taking that first step away from it all. It’s what I imagine a mother would feel like when her child starts daycare after spending every day together on her maternity leave.  

It would be a major change, but I think it would be worth it. I’m not as happy as I could be, and in turn I feel I am not giving my relationships (with the boyfriend, friends and family) all I can give.

But where do I start?

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The Car Ride…

What happens when you’re stuck in a car with a girl who is PMSing, for over 2 hours because of snow and traffic, and you’re going to be VERY late for work?

I’m sure you’ve all guess it, but a fight happens. And an extremely stupid one for that matter.

People do not know how to drive in the snow after having 2 weeks off with dry roads. So the boyfriend and I were over an hour late for work this morning. But to make matters worse I feel like crap because it’s that time of the month, and I haven’t been able to get to the gym, or any kind of work out for 4 days.

I remember why the fight started, but I can’t even remember what exactly was said/exchanged. The worst part was that we were stuck in a car. I’ve learned over the years that when I get angry I need some time to cool off before I talk about it, otherwise things could blow up. When you’re stuck in a car there is no where else to go to cool off, you can’t just get up and leave or go to another room while you recompose yourself.

The boyfriend likes to talk things out right away, as soon as the argument happens. I’m not like that. I would much rather take some time to myself to think about it, to let myself calm down before I go into talking about what made me angry. There was no way out, I had to sit and listen, which lead to boiling right over.

The boyfriend started to get the idea, he already knows what I’m like in those situations, but I also know what he is like so I normally use the opportunity of a larger space and walk away so I can calm down. In a car I don’t have that luxury. So he finally stopped trying to talk about it, let me sit in silence and we finally made it to work, alive!

So now I look back and I have a clear mind, and I feel bad for the things I said (although I can’t remember all of it), and I know that it didn’t have to turn out that way. So what do you do if you’re in that situation? I obviously can’t walk away, so next time (hopefully there is no next time) how do we avoid it turning into something more than it should have been?

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Just Friends

Photo courtesy of Celebritypuke.com

Today I wrote a guest post on my blogger friends’ site SimplySolo. Catherine is an inspiration to a lot of women who have been through failed relationships. If you have a chance, you should definitely take a look at her blog.

My post touches on whether having initial feelings for someone right away should be the deciding factor on going forward with a relationship.

I won’t rewrite the post, you can read it on SimplySolo by clicking here.

But, the post does remind me of the movie Just Friends. I just can’t remember if they end up together in the end…

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Top Ten: Things not to say on a first date (Men)

1. “Want to come back to my parents place?”
2. “I’ve slept with __ amount of girls”
3. “Does this rag smell like cloroform to you?”
4. “Can you pay? I’m currently out of work”
5. “I bet I could chug my beer faster than you.”
6.”My greatest achievement is reaching level 85 on World of Warcraft.”
7.”Oh shit, I’ve got a boner”
8.”Be right back, I have mud-butt.”
9. “Oh… you’re a woman?!”
10. “Could you close your eyes for a second, I just wanna imagine what you look like unconscious.”

I’m sure there are so many more things men should not say on a first date. Do you have any suggestions that can be added to the list? I would love to hear stories of things men have said on first dates that have totally turned you off of him.

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In My Opinion: Couples Vacations

I’ve completed the cleanse, thank god. Although we didn’t make it past Friday. It’s hard to limit what you eat on weekends. It’s not like I pigged out or anything, but I didn’t want to eat just soup all weekend. So rather than finishing the cleanse, I just ate really healthy. I even had a full vegan meal yesterday (not that all vegan food is healthy, but mine was).

Anywho, I’ve decided to do something a little different. Since I have been slacking on the relationship stories/advice/bull, I’ve decided to add a feature called “In my opinion”. The first one I decided to talk about is couples vacations.

A lot of people I know have gone on vacations with their significant other. Some of them go on annual vacations. I, on the other hand, have never been on a vacation (i.e. hopping on a plane and landing somewhere where you can relax, sight see, lay on a beach, speak another language etc…) with a signification other. Why, you ask? Well, my most recent ex never had money so a vacation was out of the question, unless I paid for both of us. And any other guy I dated in the past never lasted long enough to make it to the “couples vacation” stage in our relationship. The one and only time I’ve been to an all-inclusive, at that point in my life, I was completely happy going with a bunch of girls rather than spending the week with a guy I was casually dating and not being able to do all the fun things I did while I was there. Plus, when you travel with someone you find out more about them then you ever thought you would.

I think couples vacations are a good way to get to know someone if you don’t already live together or spend every day together. However, I don’t think going away on a week-long vacation once a year means you know each other well. You can be so different when you’re on vacation. Take The Bachelor for example. Of course they are falling in love, every week they are traveling to an exotic location, doing things like repelling down a waterfall, boat cruises, helicopter rides, dinners on a tiny secluded island. How could they not fall in love?!?! So even though it’s nice to go away with your signficant other, personally I think that couples vacations should wait until you really know the person and are already in love with them. I’m glad I’ve waited to go on vacation with a boyfriend because when I do it will mean that much more.

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