Tag Archives: problems

Sex and the City?!?! The Friendship Edition

I’m really tired of trying hard to be friends with everyone. There was a day when I had so many groups of friends, there was never a night where I didn’t have something to do. I always imagined that my late twenties would be exactly like Sex and the City, except I didn’t want to date a lot of guys, I just wanted a group of girlfriends like Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love having a night off, or two. But there are some things that I need to prioritize in my life and one of those things is friendships.

I realize the importance of having friends. And I feel like I can make friends fairly quickly, but recently I’ve been so tied up with moving into my new place (which involved moving away from everyone and everything I know, since it’s on the opposite side of the city), and a new job that takes up a lot of my time.

I’ve also picked up some hobbies, hobbies that take up a lot of my time. When I’m not at work, I’m so busy doing everything else that I rarely have time to even send a text message.

I know this is no excuse, but when you start to grow up and have other things to do, you don’t have the time you once had to spend every moment with friends.

Today I was reminded of the two friends that I’ve had for a long time and, that no matter what, will always be there. But at the same time I was reminded that the friendships I thought I have made are not real. They are fabrications of what I wish a friendship was.

It’s silly, but this is a constant reminder that I really need a friend that is my go to person. Someone who isn’t my boyfriend, though I love having him to talk to.

I feel like I don’t have that friend in my life where I can just hang out with, talk to about nothing, and just be myself.

5 years ago I never would have thought that I would be sitting in on a saturday night, thinking about the fact that I don’t really have a “good friend”. Because 5 years ago I swore everyone was my “good friend”.

Maybe that’s where I went wrong.

When I was in university, I wanted so bad to be a part of this group of girls. I wanted to be “in” with them and when I clearly wasn’t, it tore me apart. To this day I find it hard to see pictures of them all together, still friends. However, I don’t blame anyone but myself for what happened with them.

And this is what is happening now.

Maybe it’s jealousy… no, it IS jealousy. I’m jealous that they all get a long so much better than with me…. and this is something I need to figure out. Why, why do they all get along better with each other than they do with me. Why do my current friends/acquaintance get along better with each other than they do with me?

I realize I’m a little crazy… in the sense that I have a very mild case of OCD. This applies to things like having control over a situation, cleaning, where things are placed/misplaced. I could tell you EXACTLY where something is placed, as long as I’m the one who put it there, or it hasn’t been moved since the last time I saw it. I can tell when one little thing has been moved, and it actually bothers me. I can’t stand messes, so if I’m having people over, more than half my night is spent tidying up. The boyfriend pointed out that this is a problem.

I’ve also realized that this has caused distances within my friendships. I know that I’m a difficult person to live with because of this, and I may be a difficult person to be around (especially when it’s in my home) in general. But is this the reason I can’t keep long term friendships?

I kind of feel like I’m in grade 10 gushing about why I don’t have a boyfriend… Now I have a boyfriend and I am gushing about why I don’t really have any friends. 

This wasn’t on an episode of Sex and the City… though if it was, it would end with me and three of my best girlfriends out at a VIP lounge having a cocktail.

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Catch Up

So much has happened, where do I begin?!?!

Since I’ve started my new job I swear I haven’t stopped. The week flies by so quickly and the weekends are jammed pack with stuff I missed doing during the week. Every week night is spent looking for a house, yes that’s right, the boyfriend and I are looking for a house! How exciting!!

We’ve actually been looking since February, but it’s been serious the last couple of weeks. So serious we put an offer on a house already. We didn’t get it, but I truly believe that we didn’t get it for a reason and that there is a better house out there for us. It’s also a hot market right now, so we are bidding against people who probably have a little more wiggle room.

We are taking this weekend off from house shopping. It’s the Canadian Thanksgiving this weekend so we are dedicated to family gatherings every day. Except tonight. Tonight I am going with work to a football game. I’m pretty excited since we are in the end zone and have unlimited amounts of beer and junk food.

Oh! Speaking of junk food, I’m doing this “cleanse” type diet. It’s actually a powder that you mix with water and drink it before two meals. This product was originally made for people with diabetes. It regulates how fast your body breaks down the food and prevents an insulin spike. Since insulin turns into fat they noticed that people were losing weight on it and decided to turn it into a weight loss product. I’m still doing the traditional stuff, exercise and proper eating, but I thought I could use a little help since we are getting into the “fat” season. I always gain weight between Thanksgiving and Christmas and I would really like to avoid it this year since I had to work so hard to lose weight this year.

Speaking of losing weight, I put on my leather jacket that the boyfriend bought for me last season and it’s too big 😦 I never took that into consideration that any clothes I bought during my little weight slip wouldn’t really fit me now. Oh well, it doesn’t look terrible. I wasn’t THAT much bigger a year ago.

I’ve been a little stressed out about my friendships lately. I have this friend who has been dating the boyfriends friend, which I was all excited for at first. But when she started dating him I had a conversation with her about how I was going to feel when she starts becoming friends with all the other girlfriends and that I didn’t want to ever feel left out. I’m super sensitive to this friend stuff and I’ve lost so many friends I thought were true friends but turned out to not be, so I will do everything I can to avoid that. I told her that I want to be included in everything and that I was afraid that she was going to become better friends with the other girls. Did I mention this friend is my best friend? Well, since she started dating the boyfriends friend, it’s been happening, slowly, exactly what I told her I didn’t want to happen. I haven’t been excluded yet, but I’ve been getting the impression that I’m invited ONLY because I told her I didn’t want to be excluded. I get the feeling I’m not welcome and they would much rather be hanging out without me.

The boyfriend doesn’t understand. Boys are different. They don’t see things the way we do. He doesn’t understand that when we are invited to do something last-minute and our plans are not taken into consideration, they probably thought about us after the fact.

Anyway, I’m complaining. So enough of that!

It’s Friday and a long weekend! I hope you all have a fantastic weekend, and to my Canadians, I happy Thanksgiving.

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