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100th Post!

P.S. My last post was my 100th post! Congratulations to me!!!!! I wish I noticed before I posted, maybe I would have done something a little more 100th post worthy, like a list of my favourite 100 songs, or foods…

Anyway…

Thank you everyone who has stuck by my blog and continued to read even though I have been pretty MIA the last 6 months. Without all of you, I probably would still be writing, but no one would be reading, so I thank you.

I hope that I continue to interest all of you enough to return for more. Otherwise, thanks for stopping by!

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New Love

New love *sigh* it’s a beautiful thing!

It’s a feeling of complete and utter happiness. You get butterflies in your stomach just thinking about the person. You find yourself wanting to talk about the person all the time and finding little ways to slip their name into a conversation. You drop everything and anything if it meant you could spend even 5 more minutes with that person. You smile more often and day-dream about them.

Sometimes you get so lost in new love that you forget about your friends. A couple of weeks go by and you stop and think “oh my, I haven’t talked to ____ in so long”. But you forget to send them a message. And then a month or two fly by, you’re busy doing everything with your new love. You’ve gone on a small road trip, or have seen a couple of movies. You may have met the family one Sunday afternoon. You still haven’t messaged that friend. But it doesn’t matter because you are so in love.

You made plans months ago to go on vacation with your friend, but how could you possibly spend a week away from your new love. You want to spend every waking moment with this person. So you cancel your plans. You feel a little guilty, but you know that they will get over it. You have never cancelled on plans before so this one time won’t hurt.

Over the next few months you make a point in spending a couple of hours with this friend. Maybe you get your nails done, or you go out for coffee. But it’s nothing like it used to be. You don’t want to spend an entire day/night away from your love so you make as little plans as possible. “But you’re still seeing her” you tell yourself “so it’s ok that I only want to spend a couple of hours with her”.

And then a year goes by. You may have seen this friend enough times to count on one hand. It makes you a little sad, but so much time has passed, how can it ever be the same as it was before?

The new love turns into much more and he proposes *yey* and you think “who am I going to ask to be in my wedding party?” The friends you once thought would be standing next to you sharing your special day are no longer your close friends anymore. You’re stuck with your sister and his sister and hopefully a best friend. What happened to “I have too many friends, how am I ever going to choose who is going to be my bridesmaids?” You lost touch with so many “friends” over the course of your new love.

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My biggest fear: Not having any good girlfriends.

I’m guilty of the above. Over time I’ve lost touch of some dear friends. Some of which are friends I thought would be standing next to me on my big day (not that it’s happening soon or anything). But as my “friends” start to get engaged and get married and I see pictures pop up on Facebook (the devil) it makes me think about my own situation.

I had to use this picture, it was just too cute

And as new relationship bloom around me and these trends begin to happen, I fear losing these friends.

My biggest fear is turning 30 and not having a single girlfriend to celebrate with me. Or getting married and (as much as I love my sister to death) only having my sister standing next to me.

As we get older our priorities change. My priorities stand with my career and my future family. My boyfriend is my number one priority. But that shouldn’t mean that my best friend(s) come last. They still hold a special place in my heart, but how do I stop myself from forgetting about them completely? And, as we get older our priorities vary from person to person. Just because I want to focus on my career and my future doesn’t mean my friends have the same ideas.

Its reasons like these that I feel “girl time” is so important – even if it happens only once a year.

New loves can consume you. But everyone forgives the blindness a new love causes. You just have to make sure that it doesn’t last forever. You usually gain your sight back after a year or so.

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Filed under My life, My Relationship, Relationship Advice

A Bucket List for Schmucks

I’ve recently been inspired by a fellow blogger over at The Next Moment to write a list of things I want to do in my life, also known as a bucket list. However, these are things I would like to complete before I’m 30 and in no particular order (I will add to the list if/when I get inspired):

  1. Sky dive (this may not happen, but I’m going to put it up here)
  2. Run a half Marathon
  3. Run a full marathon
  4. Travel to Greece
  5. Travel to Paris
  6. Attend a cooking class
  7. Become a fitness instructor
  8. Look (and feel) amazing in a bikini
  9. Find a job I love
  10. Buy a house
  11. Own a real diamond (in any format, preferably in the engagement ring format)
  12. Go an entire day without being negative
  13. Make a new friend (a good one!)
  14. Let go of expired friendships
  15. Buy a real pair of sunglasses (not the $20 ones)
  16. Go to the airport and hop on the next plane (without planning beforehand)
  17. Buy a really expensive pair of shoes just because I want them and not because I need them
  18. Teach somebody something new
  19. Volunteer for Habitat for Humanity
  20. Keep my hair blonde
  21. Buy a coffee for someone in line behind me at Tim Hortons (The boyfriend already did this when he was supposed to do it with me there)
  22. Do something really nice for someone unexpectedly
  23. Read more (I know this is vague, but I can’t chose how much I want to read since I used to read ALL the time and recently I don’t read at all)
  24. Go to a strip club
  25. Throw myself the BEST 30th Birthday party ever!

What’s the number one thing you want to do in your life?

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Love Is A Battlefield

Sometimes I think I have it all figured out. And other times I realize I’m only 25 and there is no way I have anything figured out.

This past weekend was hard. It was a great weekend over all, but it was the point in our relationship that made me see things a little more clearly. Sure, I haven’t figured it all out yet, but I’m confident enough to say that I’m close.

This past weekend the boyfriend and I hit a couple of road bumps. None of which caused any permanent damage, maybe just a few scratches that were easily repaired. But these bumps made me realize that I have a great man in my life. I’ve always known he was a great guy (probably the best guy I’ve ever dated), but I never truly realized how perfect he was for me.

I’m extremely stubborn and when I think I’m right, I’m right! But these thoughts don’t really get me anywhere. In past relationships I would never have budged. I would have stuck to my guns no matter what! But I’ve come to realize that sometimes I’m not right (*gasp* I know, it’s crazy right?!) Sometimes my reactions are uncalled for and sometimes I need to apologize (this is something I was not very good at, and I’m still working on it). But I’ve realized that the boyfriend is worth these changes.

I’ve never had anyone who was this good to me. Sometimes I don’t believe that I have someone this great. I resort back to my old ways of thinking and pull myself into a hole where I can hide my feelings. I sometimes forget that he treats me with all the respect in the world and assume that this mistakes he makes are in spite of me.

I do not blame anyone but myself. I allowed myself to be in the relationships I was in for as long as I was. I allowed these guys to treat me the way they did, and I made myself believe that it was love. But sometimes it’s easier to blame others. Sometimes it’s easier to turn your back on the ones that really care and face those who treat you badly. And sometimes, but only sometimes, you get a glimpse of what could be and are terrified that good things just can’t happen to you. But no one is holding you down other than yourself.

This past weekend made me realize that I’m my own problem. I have to stop resorting to my old way of thinking (blaming others for my own problems, feeling sorry for myself and being so negative). It’s time I realize what I have, and what I have is more than I could have ever asked for.

I’m so in love with my boyfriend. We are coming up on a year, and although I’m sure I’ve said this before, this has been the best year of my entire life (so far). I still get flutters in my chest when I think about him and I hope they never die out.

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I Miss the City

I’ve been very fortunate to have a place to live. I love that I can save money and do the things I want because I have been given the opportunity to do so. However, the one thing that I can’t help but think about is how much I miss the city (or maybe it’s my car that I miss).

Recently when I lived in the city, it wasn’t like I really lived there. Part of the problem was that my boyfriend “wasn’t allowed” to be at my apartment (based on roommate rules) and as a result I felt restricted in the time I could spend there as well. Since my boyfriend and I liked to spend most of our nights together, this made it extremely difficult to spend a lot of time at my apartment and we ended up spending most of our nights at his parents’ house outside the city. I haven’t truly lived in the city since 2008.

When my parents decided to sell their house in the city and move an hour north, it was time I got a car. This made the whole transition a bit easier. I was still able to drive down to the city whenever I wanted, but the car restricted me from going out and drinking since I would have to find a place to sleep.

Some things happened between me and my parents and I ended up moving over an hour west of the city, but this only lasted 4 months before I decided it was time I moved out on my own.

While living on my own only lasted 9 months, during this time I rarely used my car, so I lent it to my sister. Since it was costing me to keep the car insured I didn’t want this extra burden given that I never used it anymore. Everything was accessible via public transit, and whenever I went anywhere outside the city the boyfriend and I went together and he would always drive (I’m much better at being a passenger during long drives). Since my sister needed a second car, we made a deal that she would buy the car from me and I would no longer need to pay for the insurance anymore. This was perfect! I was living on my own and I was able to save some money at the same time. But the living situation didn’t last as long as I hoped.

During this time, the boyfriend and I discussed buying a place together. However, if I were to move out completely on my own and pay rent by myself, there was no way I would be able to save enough. So, I moved home…

Well, I moved my stuff home. Since I got rid of my car, there was no way I could actually move home and be able to get to work every day. I didn’t want to buy a new car since I was supposed to be saving, so the boyfriend and I had some serious discussions, and one of them was with his parents and we thought it would be the best idea if I moved in with them. This way I would be able to spend a lot of time with the boyfriend, have a ride into work and be able to save up for our future together.

So far this has been working out great! The only thing is I now wish I had a car. I can never win!

The boyfriend drives standard so I can’t use his car, and this can be frustrating when I want to go out for lunch with a friend, or meet a friend for dinner. I almost never get to do these things because I have no way of getting myself around. The boyfriend is completely open to driving me, but I feel bad. And when you can drive yourself, you get to choose when you’re ready to leave.

This Friday, the boyfriend was asked to play in a softball game in the east end of the city. This leaves me with a couple of options:

  1. Go with the boyfriend
  2. GO train to the west end of the city and walk home, then not really do anything because once I’m there I’m stuck there without a car
  3. Visit my sister (this is if she is available, I haven’t asked yet) because he can drop me off on the way
  4. Visit a friend (I would need to figure this one out soon since I haven’t asked anyone yet), and get dropped off and picked up along the way

D and C aren’t too bad, but if I had a car I could do whatever I want. I could go home and then go out. I could go visit a friend and leave when I am ready to leave.

And it’s usually on these occasions (when the boyfriend has softball) that I do see my friends. It makes it easier to plan something when I know the boyfriend will be in the area.

Maybe I’m being selfish, but it’s nice to have the option to pick up and go whenever I feel like it. I mean, I’m not complaining about the boyfriend not driving me, because he does and I appreciate all that he does for me. But I would love to have that independence again.

All of this is completely my fault. I had a car and I gave it away. It wouldn’t be very smart of me to buy another one now because I don’t have that much saved (especially since the boyfriend and I want to buy a house hopefully by the end of the year). But 8 months ago I would never have imagined that I was living with the boyfriend out of the city. I was only a couple of months into my lease and loving how accessible and convenient everything was to me. I do believe that when I made the decision to get rid of my car, it was the right decision at the time.

We live and we learn.

The moral of this story: I have to learn how to drive standard. Or to stop whining… either one works.

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